Kissing and cuddling while in a Christian dating relationship, Pastor Jim shares his thoughts about physical contact while dating. What are your thoughts? Do you agree? Give this advice piece a read and let us know your thoughts in the comments below! Today I received an email asking whether or not kissing and cuddling are considered a sin. There is nothing sinful about the activity of kissing or cuddling, depending upon the definition one gives to these words. When is it okay and when is it something that becomes unhealthy?
They just couldn't stop because it felt so good. So how can you decide what you will do? Some have asked, "Just how far can a Christian go without sinning?
To help you establish godly standards, consider the following advice given by a panel of young American Christians between the ages of 20 and Some are married and some aren't.
While the names are changed to preserve each person's identity, the comments are genuine. Hand-holding according to year-old Sarah K. I think holding hands is a sign that 'this is the one for me' to all the world, and that is just not something I want to do with just anyone.
Bill, 28 and married to Sue, said that he didn't have a rule about holding hands before he was married but realized that "those first thrilling physical touches when one is young can often open the door to premature intimacy and big life mistakes.
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Individual tolerances to holding hands or other touching may vary, so there's no hard-and-fast rule. But I would have done better erring on the side of strict conservatism in this area. Kate, 28, who is married to Luke, wrote: "We didn't hold hands till almost a year after we started dating. We started dating a year or more after we had known each other as friends with the understanding that we were potentially interested in marriage and wanted to spend time together to find out.
Luke asked me if he could hold my hand initially. Looking back, it was a good thing, even though I questioned it at one point because it became a distraction for me for a short time-either wanting him to hold my hand, or having a difficult time reigning in my thoughts when he did.
However, he explained to me that he felt like it was important that there be a physical means of communicating with each other and expressing the closeness that we felt. I think that he was right.
In the midst of the excitement, you have to take your thoughts captive and make decisions about enjoying emotional closeness and small amounts of physical contact based on whether the relationship is deep and solid enough to benefit from these added dimensions, or whether it will only serve to cover up a lack of real communication. For Luke and me, hand-holding was a positive thing that physically manifested some of the feelings and ideas that we had already verbalized.
Once you become good friends with someone, it seems as though hugs become part of the way many people say good-bye before long intervals apart or hello when they reunite. While the majority of this panel felt these kind of short hugs were appropriate, they did offer a few cautions about regular and lengthy hugging with the opposite sex.
Jun 05, Holding hands too early, for example, or even in the wrong way, can set you up for a huge fail so you need to take this very seriously. The right moves can put you in the fast lane for a successful first date. 2) Holding hands - This should start about the time you have been dating a full year when moving forward in the relationship. Many will consider this delay frivolous, so six months after dating is doable, but wait no longer than one year to begin holding hands (like we have to tell anyone that ;-). Holding Hands, Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating [Sharon L. Phillips, Richard D. Phillips] on mcauctionservicellc.com *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Holding Hands, Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating/5.
Sarah K. So if that sort of thing is affecting your mind, where it's like you've been hugging this person and all of a sudden you just have to kiss them, then uh-oh!
You'd better rethink your actions, because the godly way is to go in the direction of 'flee from immorality,' not see how close you can come to it! Bill agreed with Sarah K. Cheryl, 23 and married, said her "main concern was finding the person that I could continue a relationship with until the end marriage. If he didn't meet my qualifications enough to that end, I would remain friends but never make any more physical contact than a hug here or there.
Before Kate and Luke married, they said, "We got into the habit of giving each other a brief hug coming and going sometime during the first year of dating. It was good to acknowledge the way we cared for each other with something warmer than a 'Hi. At first, we only did this in my [Kate's] parents' home when they were near. A little later we also sat like this when we were alone as well-often in the context of a conversation that was on a deep emotional level, and especially after we were engaged and began talking through more personal things We didn't 'bear hug' until a month before we were engaged, and we were careful with that.
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Kissing, according to our panel, is definitely more intimate than hand-holding or hugs and should be avoided prior to engagement.
After you are engaged, a brief kiss seems appropriate. As Sarah K. But you have to remember, if God hasn't picked this person for you, your lips are on another person's mate.
So think 'fourth dimensionally,' as Doc Brown would say, and know that this other person is not your mate.
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Young, single people should avoid mouth-to-mouth kissing at all costs except maybe just prior to marriage even then they must be careful to avoid lustful behavior.
Explaining how they first kissed, Kate said, "I had told Luke what a kiss meant to me as we started to grow closer. He honored that understanding and never took advantage of any vulnerable moment. I respected him deeply for that and still do, even as I sometimes wanted him to kiss me.
To me, a kiss meant, 'I love you. I want to be your husband. Continuing, she recalled, "I had asked my mother when I was young if it was all right to kiss before you were married. Through their shared ministry to singles, they perceived a great need for clear biblical teaching on dating and singleness. The fruit of their ministry and of their love for singles is found in the pages of this book.
He is co-editor of the Reformed Expository Commentary series and author of numerous books on the Bible and Christian living, several of which feature discussion questions written by Sharon.
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Sep 02, Just because a lot of other people can hold hands and be perfectly fine doesn't mean you necessarily can. You need to follow your own conscience, as led by God's word and the Holy Spirit within you. For some people, any physical touch, even holding hands, can . Mar 20, There is much to be said for holding hands and allowing other forms of physical interaction to wait. My own experience and advice on the topic of kissing in a Christian dating relationship. What about physical contact? I can speak from . Jan 18, Another important point has to do with culture. In some cultures, kisses of greeting - between members of the same sex or of the opposite sex - as well as hand-holding and other forms of physical expression during normal, non-romantic social intercourse, are more common. Fine.
Their book addresses a culturally relevant subject and provides a good balance between expounding biblical principles on relationships and marriage and helping singles apply those values in dating. Their method is simple. The target audience is adult singles. The material here is in some respects suitable for teenagers, given that it presents a biblical portrait of love. The book is filled with personal anecdotes, a host of questions to consider, answers to such questions, memorable quotations and other sources cited for further study.
This is a well-written, easy to read book that offers sound principles for personal application.
I highly recommend it and have purchased extra copies to give to my single friends. The guidance and principles in this book are timeless. If you decide to read one book on Christian dating, make this the one. It's all here. Richard and Sharon Phillips have written a creative, logical, inspiring, and most importantly of all, biblical book that's solidly backed by Scripture and their experience in singles ministry.
Although the Bible doesn't really say anything about dating, the book is relevant by showing how the Bible's concepts of love, forgiveness, maintaining a godly character, etc. The gem in this book is how the authors go back to Genesis to describe how wonderful and flawless Adam and Eve's relationship was after they were created, how it changed after The Fall, and thus how it's necessary to approach relationships with the care and understanding that this demands.
They detail the ideal traits for both men and women to look for in each other and show the biblical way to progress from brothers and sisters in Christ to commitment and all the way to exchanging the vows.
Very crucial to a relationship's success are the God-designed roles for each. As a single myself in my late 20s, I consider this the very best Christian dating book and definitely recommend it to anyone searching for a spouse and perhaps who feels a bit lost.
It inspires you to wait patiently on the Lord while keeping Him the priority in your life. Sure it's challenging at times, but you can't go wrong when you're first committed to God.
It will only make your future relationship with your spouse that much better. I wish the authors can read this review. Every single Christian man and woman should read this book.
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Theological and practical. Biblical and realistic. This book really takes the high standard of marriage God's Law and realistic expectations Sinand preaches the Gospel Jesus as the hope for dating, marriage and personal sanctification.
I recommend this book to all the singles at my church and they find it extremely it an insightful, helpful, encouraging and rewarding read. Don't miss out on this one. Christian Dating Advice. I am a new Christian and a new single Christian woman.
Our Physical Boundaries- What Intentional Christian Dating Looked Like For Us (3/5)
I know someday in my college life, I will meet people whom I will share my time with. Your advices are so much helpful not just to me but rather, for everybody. Your email address will not be published. What should I wear? What should be the topic of conversation?
The girl I refer to is now my wife: Richard and Sharon Phillips have the experience and, more importantly, the biblical knowledge necessary to deal with the sensitive topic they cover in Holding Hands, Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating. Their words are aimed at 4/5. As Christian singles, it is totally appropriate and attractive to end the evening holding hands in prayer to the Lord, asking Him to guide you in this dating relationship. First Date Dating No-Nos. Never spend your first date speaking about your previous relationships and dating partners. Nothing is . Jan 02, Hand-holding according to year-old Sarah K. is "OK if you plan to marry him or her, when you both feel like the other is the right one for you." Continuing, she said, "I wouldn't hold hands with someone who I felt to be 'just a date' or someone I was mildly interested in, or even just plain had a .
How do I end the first date? First Date Dating No-Nos Never spend your first date speaking about your previous relationships and dating partners. Make sure that you end your date in a way that makes your date want to go back out with you.