Thanks for connecting! You're almost done. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. I have a decent-sized burn scar on the back of my hand that's been there for about ten years now. It's long and thin and puffy and looks for all the world like a makeup effect in a movie. It was caused by a frying pan.
Dude, she totally wants it! To post a profile, they have to mail a handwritten bio, including date of birth, the state where they are currently incarcerated and expected release date.
They also have to send what one can only hope is a recent picture. What they don't send are the details about what got them locked up. To find that out, you'll have to click the "add to cart" button next to your lady love's profile. For a nominal fee, you get her mailing address so you can send her a letter. It's like up in this piece!
Let's get the obvious out of the way here. There are some high-end dating sites that actually check for criminal backgrounds before allowing people to sign up. At Women Behind Bars, the criminal background is the only prerequisite. This means most dudes will find themselves way in over their innocent little heads, no matter how tough they make themselves out to be on their MySpace page.
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But believe it or not, it gets more ominous than that. Look through the profiles on Women Behind Bars and you'll notice a disturbing trend. Most of the ladies And they have release dates to match. But as "luck" would have it, the handful that happen to be kind of attractive also happen to be getting out soon.
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In some cases, real soon. Now would be a good time to mention a fun fact about Women Behind Bars: they don't even try to verify that the pictures they receive are actually of the inmate. Release date Fall in love. If you're bright enough to strike up a budding love affair with an inmate, you ARE the type that will fall in love in a couple of months.
Have no doubt. Find yourself face to face with the pound prison- tattooed she-beast who posted the fake picture on Women Behind Bars and is now standing at your door. Members are sent adhesive labels to apply to their car windows. These labels have the Motodate. When a woman's potential suitor and likely abductor sees her in traffic, all he has to do is remember that four digit code until he gets home or, more likely, to the public library, and head to Motodate. If you're a dude that happens to think you're hot enough that chicks will actually regret not flagging you down in rush hour traffic, putting one of these labels on your window will have but one result.
You will look like a conceited douchebag. This is a step away from airbrushing a photo of your abs above the words, "Which of you bitches wants it? For the women, we've already discussed the unwanted serial killer attention ct.
But if there's one thing attractive women don't need any help with, it's getting harassed by pervs in traffic. If you think that's the girl of your dreams sitting in traffic with the Motodate sticker on her car, rest assured, that four digit code is eventually going to tell you something you really didn't want to know. Don't say we didn't warn you, Romeo.
On the bright side, it's absolutely free! Register, fill out your profile, upload a photo, go nuts! Sorry, poor choice of words there. But really, there isn't much to how it works. I have a decent-sized burn scar on the back of my hand that's been there for about ten years now. It's long and thin and puffy and looks for all the world like a makeup effect in a movie. It was caused by a frying pan. Not an accident, mind you, I didn't get all carried away making hash browns. I put a pan on the stove, cranked it up until it was as hot as it could get, then pressed my hand against the edge and held it there to see how long I could stand the pain.
I lasted about a minute which is a hell of a long time to have a scalding hot piece of metal on your flesh. The burn was a third-degree one, and got really gross as it healed.
I did it for two reasons: to see how long I could convince my body to resist the urge to pull away and to get some idea of what it might be like if I were to die in a fire. I figured if I was going to go out, I should go out the most painful way I could imagine.
I'd never get to do something like it again. But in the middle of all of that, I never really recognized what was going on with my moods, my brain, my actions. It's only when I look back now that I can see the really fucked-up state I was in. And I think it's a lot more common than people realize: the idea that sometimes you're just not ready to get help, even if you do know you're chin deep in the shit. Right or wrong, what I learned was Now that you are totally freaked out, let me start by saying I'm much better now.
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Other than being flabbergasted by rampant douchebaggery out in the world and sometimes eating too many hot wings which makes me feel like that frying pan is searing its way out the ol' backdoor, I'm good with life and it's good with me.
Sure, sometimes I'll go out in the yard at night and piss on some weeds but I don't think that's a mental health issue. That's freedom. Ten years ago, give or take, I was in one of those dark places you find yourself in from time to time.
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Looking back now I can say pretty confidently I must have been depressed. Who else scars themselves for kicks besides the odd Batman villain? I'd come to a realization; I had pretty much wasted my life up until that point. I was financially in the toilet, I was in a relationship with a wicked garbage person that I had to end, and most people I knew were pretty keen on avoiding me.
You probably have seen more than your share of PSAs and helpful social media posts about depression - who to call, help you can get, and so on. But most of those things avoid the separate issue of you not wanting any of it. I didn't want anyone's help. I didn't even think at the time I was depressed and whatever was going on I sure as shit didn't need to talk about it with a stranger, a friend, or a self-help book.
Mostly I wanted sweet, room-temperature beers I couldn't be arsed to put in the fridge. I didn't know if I needed help and was pretty convinced I could manage on my own.
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And I can't help but think I probably wasn't the only person in this situation. There are very few instances in your life when you can get something if you actively don't want to seek it out. This is acknowledged a lot more readily with addiction - you need to hit "rock bottom" or whatever and accept you're ready for help. That's true for depression as well. And if you're not there yet, you're flying solo in an airplane built from shit and darkness - so like Spirit Air.
For my part, I had no idea what the hell I wanted out of life. So I played World Of Warcraft. And I can honestly say World Of Warcraft gave me a reason to live, even if just for a little while. You may think a computer game in which I spent the better part of my days as a Night Elf Warrior running around a desert for hours on end mining something called Thorium sounds dumb, but it gave me something to do beyond gloomy masturbation and scowling at the cat, which sometimes occurred simultaneously.
And more than that it gave me something social to do.
I had people to shoot the shit with who had no expectations of me other than needing me to be ready to go to Zul'Gurub if we had a raid party ready. I could turn them off on a whim and deal with a fake reality on my terms, any time I wanted. It gave me these tiny little moments of joy, the feeling of accomplishment and purpose as I devoted hours trying to get a Qiraji bug mount or mass slaughter Murloc villagers.
I think anyone feeling like shit needs a World Of Warcraft. Or basket weaving, or fidget spinners, or writing jokes for Mike Huckabee. Something you can detach yourself from and just do. Something to take the focus off of what's wrong and put it on anything else. You can find yourself at a crossroads when you're depressed. Do I go forward or do I go nowhere? And again, this isn't about other people or getting help, this is just finding your own comfort zone.
It's not wrong to not be ready to fix a problem. Don't misunderstand me here - it can be dangerous, depending on the circumstances and severity of your mental state.
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What I'm saying is that not being ready to fix a problem is a common reaction, and nobody ever addresses it. If your Fleshlight breaks, you don't need a repair person in within the hour to get right on it with his ass crack hanging low and lazy in your wank parlor looking like one of those fuzzy caterpillars caught in a panini.
Lots of things can hold you back.
As jet-setting, high-life-living internet comedy writers, we here at Cracked are pretty much awash in chicks. Even those of us who are chicks do alright with the ladies. So honestly, we don't have much use for internet dating sites. But we understand not every. May 21, Though dating is definitely not impossible to do, Dr. Brown advises those living with depression to focus on the real issue: "If you want to have a really good outcome in terms of dating. Aug 31, If you think joining the online dating world is a depressing and hopeless move, then you need to come out of the '90s. You can make online dating less .
So if you're not ready to fix yourself, what's the next step? How the hell do you cope? I was pretty heavily entrenched in a very frustrating and futile cycle of realizing I wasn't doing any good for myself but also not having any desire to look beyond myself for answers.
While you should be open minded on looks, chances are you have a certain type of person in mind you're hoping to meet.
Save yourself the thumb carpal tunnel by doing some research on which app that kind of person could be found on. And the way to do that is to ask your friends and acquaintances that fit into the bracket of partner you're trying to find. Which apps do they use? There's no point just selecting a site because you like it, if the people you're interested in wouldn't use it," Lester points out.
Almost everyone uses dating apps these days, so don't be shy to ask for that info. Apps only give you around characters to introduce yourself, but a lot can be relayed in that short snippet.
Samantha Burns, Licensed Counselor and Dating Coachtells in an email with Bustle, "Only message people who have filled out their profile. If you open up your app and let loose a sigh that sounds like it came from a hopeless place, it's time to take a step back for a week or two. You're no longer searching for the fun of it. You have to put time and effort in, otherwise messages go unanswered, and people move on.
But if it's all starting to feel a bit much, take a step away and give yourself some time off. It shouldn't feel like a second job!
Depression and Dating - Dating While Depressed Dos and Donts
If you take a break for two weeks and focus on yourself, you'll come back feeling refreshed and with a new mindset. If you put too much pressure on people's profiles, then flipping through them can become quite stressful.
If you're more game to meet up people even if they're not percent dreamboat material, then the whole thing will feel more carefree and casual. If you feel embarrassed or hopeless when you're online dating, then you need to change the atmosphere around it. Listen to music, or watch TV while you're replying to messages.
Link up with other single friends and keep each other posted on your progress.