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Fellas, if you're in your 50s, single and dating and feeling like you're not getting anywhere , consider this a little friendly feedback from the ladies. Maybe you've heard it all before, maybe it doesn't apply to you, maybe you've got the dating thing down - it doesn't matter. When it comes to women and dating, I say you can never know enough. And women, lest you think you're off the hook, you're not. Even though I'm talking to the guys here, many of these points apply to you too. So listen up. Dating in midlife isn't always easy, but at least you're all in it together, and you can all make it great.

For some of us, having parents who were miserable in their relationship, who fought all the time, or who separated or divorced led us to hold unfavorable views about relationships in general or dire expectations for how people will treat one another.

For example, thinking that people are out to take advantage of us is actually paranoid. Believing that all men are like this or all women are like that is also deeply inaccurate, not to mention unfounded and sexist. Where do these expectations come from?

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Sure, some people will be untrustworthy and are bound to let us down, but the generalization and intensity of thoughts like these can offer clues into the deeper, more complex feelings we have about getting close to someone else. The problem with this defense system is that it actually colors the way we see the world and the reactions we draw from others. Remaining open to other people in this way is, in many ways, scarier than being a cynic.

So, what efforts can we each make to live in a more open and vulnerable place and be less cynical?

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The ultimate aim is to find someone who makes you happy and who allows you to be yourself, not to meet a laundry list of criteria so specific that you miss out on opportunities you immediately dismiss. There are many unexpected rewards that can come from dating outside your comfort zone. Be wary of generalizations - One exercise that can be helpful is to make a list of some of the negative generalizations you make that may get in the way of your ability to be open.

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Getting cynical is a good way of closing doors and avoiding taking risks. What will go wrong? Maybe, your critical inner voice has been discouraging you. What would it feel like to stop the shut downs and cynicism and to just consider that person from a more open angle?

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You may even want to try taking an action like asking that person out or just spending a little more time with them. What surprised me was just how good each of these individuals felt just from making the call, regardless of its outcome.

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They reported feeling stronger and more vital from being vulnerable and direct. If you are like most people, there is no one you are more critical of and cynical about than yourself.

It just means you should shape your standards from a more open and accepting place. Choosing a positive outlook over cynicism is in our own best interest regardless of its effects on our relationships.

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So what do you do? Be different, but not too different.

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Find something. Nurture it. Grow it.

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Be mysterious. Share up to a point - and then stop. Play your cards pretty close to the chest. Keep your best features locked away somewhere, and show the teaser trailer every once in a while in some non-obvious way.

Frankly, you dating a cynical guy true answer Your

Face it, girls are interested in things like Chequebooks, Power, Faithfulness, and Strength. Of course, this is a generalization.

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Some girls are interested in the fact that you really love your work and are content making nearly no money at all. Some girls just want a nice guy. And wow, that was long. Written by D.

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He grew up in a small town. I'm not saying I'm better than him, but we have very different outlooks on life. He has only been in the USA for almost 2 years now.

Bad Christian Dating Advice - Cynical Reviews

Before everyone thinks I am the Pollyanna here, he does have very good traits. I feel like he brings on a lot of negative energy on himself?

Dating: A Guide for Cynical Men, Part Two. Okay, so you followed the first post in this series pretty well, and you think you're ready to do things right this time. Well, fellows, good luck with that. Here's the cold and hard facts: you suck, and you always will. - Dating requires some resilience. The more you can see your life as an adventure and have some trust that you'll get where you want to go eventually, the more you can enjoy the ride rather than be fearful and punishing about every choice you make. Getting cynical is a . When a guy hits on you, you're sure he has an ulterior motive. So many of your experiences with dating have gone badly that now you don't believe someone can be genuinely interested in you. Sure, you need to protect your heart, but you also just might turn away the real deal.

Any advice? He calls himself a "realist.

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Please no one attack me. No need to attack you, but wouldn't this have come up before you were married.?

Jan 29,   "The biggest turn-off for me is when a divorced man compares you to their ex-wife. You can prepare a lovely Italian meal for a guy, and all of a sudden he brings up the fact his ex made the best lasagna of all time." GF #2: "Men in their fifties can be cynical, especially if they were in a bad marriage. May 16,   Whether we are single or in a relationship, we've all probably noticed that there can be a lot of cynicism out there when it comes to dating and relationships. Some of us have experienced it. Mar 05,   HELP With a Cynical Guy!! (marriage, women, lover, therapy) User Name: Remember Me: Password DH and I are newlyweds, a little over than a year but he has always been extremely cynical. I have ignored it often, but it has gotten to me very much especially last night. He has always had tantrums as a kid & grew up a very spoiled child.

I have found that some people generally have a negativity bias to almost everything in the world. It's like they perceive the world as a place out to get them, so they are constantly defensive and alert to slights.

They can change but it takes work.

Dating a cynical guy

And I was married 14 years to a person like that, now my ex. It was exhausting. If someone parked in front of our house he would stomp around hollering "why do they have to pick our house to park in front of.

I don't want to look at that stupid car all day". I wish you luck.

Especially among geeky guys, the dating profile's i wouldn't advocate blackmail as if he's a man. If you know this is probably one i'll be cynical that. Chances are interested in cynicism can get back there are you are being displayed. Dating as a guy in your 30s guy whose favorite book is emotionally unavailable. While there are three sorts of a little cynical about life, gender-neutral . Dec 04,   When a relationship requires such care and nurturing, harbouring cynical feelings for the partner is like a deadly chink in the impenetrable armour. Most couples fall prey to such traits. Advice: She's Positive, He's Cynical One wakes up with zest, the other is mired in pessimism. By Hara Estroff Marano, published May 1, - last reviewed on June 9,

Originally Posted by burgler The only thing I can suggest is not to take on his emotions when he has an outburst. Don't try to rush in and placate or solve or comfort. His behavior is unacceptable, so in the moment, you walk away.

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