I love writing about relationships, love, romance, and flirting. I hope you find the advice in my articles useful. Dating a shy and introverted guy can be challenging because a girl will need to take the lead and make the first move. However, it can also be a blissful, enriching and pleasurable experience once a woman learns how to make him comfortable around her. Intellectual conversations, unlimited sweet romantic moments, cute expressions and honest body language are some of the things we will use to get him out of his shell. Don't be afraid to take the lead when it comes to making plans for the actual date.
Much like when you ask her out, it's a good idea to go somewhere where there's not a lot of people around, or people she knows. Showing any form of affection, at least at first, in a public setting will probably make her a little shy and awkward. The ideal first date would be somewhere where you can spend time along, without the pressures of anyone around to make her feel more nervous.
Going for a walk, a state park or a quiet diner are all good ideas. Also, be sure that the first time you two hold hands or kiss again this depends on how shy she still is would probably be best if it happened with just the two of you around. Moving too fast could cause her to become shy around you again, setting you both back in the relationship you were building.
It's best to move slowly or ask if she's comfortable if you're unsure of whether or not she's ready for holding hands or to go to a movie. This is usually helpful in young relationships in middle school or high school where everyone is getting a feel for dating. Again, it really depends on how shy the girl is and her reasons for being shy. She may open up to you quickly or she may remain very shy with you for a long time.
Jan 26, Much the same as you could expect of dating a shy guy, like me. In the early days, expect things to be slow. She will likely be quiet at first, and might be tricky to engage in conversation. This doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't like you - i. First off, the cons of dating shy girls: The first and the most common problem of dating shy girls is that they often send out few or no signals that they are interested in being approached, even if they would you to talk to them. Throw in some poor body language and it is easy to assume that the quiet types are just plain mean or unsociable. Jan 02, For some (and in truth, probably many) shy girls can be super hot. They just have that quiet, undefinable quality about them that drives men crazy, but there's a problem. Shy women don't typically respond to the same kinds of advances that more outgoing women respond to.
Be sure to keep in mind that this relationship will take a long time to develop. Communication is key. If you move too fast, she may end up not knowing how to deal with the situation.
This can lead to her avoiding you, not answering your phone calls or lying about stupid things in order to try to keep you away. These are signs that you're going to fast or that she's not into you. Dating a shy girl is not much different than dating any other girl, except for that fact that you'll have to spend a lot more time making sure she is comfortable and that you're not moving too fast. The first few months or weeks depending on the girl will be slow until the girl starts opening up to you.
After she does this, you'll soon find out more things about her and will probably figure out why she was so shy in the first place. Just be sure to relieve any of the pressure she'll be feeling of overcoming her shyness and show her your support and love. This is key in dating a shy girl and maintaining that relationship. Be open with her and honest and she'll do the same with you. A quick note from personal experience: I've actually found that certain people just make you feel more comfortable than others.
All became dating a shy quiet girl really
If holding someone's hand or being close to them causes either of you any discomfort or makes you nervous, you may want to consider if this is the right person for you. I've had one boyfriend who I never could feel comfortable around thankfully it ended and another boyfriend who I felt instantly comfortable around.
There's no point in forcing any relationship if you're not happy or comfortable with it. It may seem like a bad note to leave on, but there are "plenty of fish in the sea" and the one person who does make you feel comfortable and loved may just be out there waiting for you. I'm a Dutch guy working in the Czech Republic and I met a girl just a week ago who I saw a lot of times earlier at my work, office etc We had an office party the day later and we talked almost the whole evening.
Being quite close and I felt that she actually felt quite comfortable around me. Looking into each others eyes, talking quite without issues, yet When I gave her compliments on how she looked looks very stunning and on her beautiful eyes, this actually made her look away and it gave me the feeling that not many men told her this which surprises me as she is a really sweet girl.
Now, I realised that she is a very shy girl and probably not used to a man liking her. We did talk a couple of times at work though and I also invited her for getting a cup of coffee in a cafe where they also have cats she loves cats and I'm not allergic, so I thought, best place to make her feel comfy.
Just yesterday I got to know from a common friend that I should be very slow and behave more in a friendly way as I otherwise could scare her off Now, I certainly don't want to scare her off because I'm very interested in who she is and if there could be something between her and me I was not looking for a new girlfriend, because my previous gf was not that sweet I most probably will have the lunch with her tomorrow at this cat-cafe and I'm wondering what to do best. Trying to be goofy could make me shy :-D what I certainly want to achieve is that she feels absolutely at ease around me.
Thanks for the writing and advise and I hope that you can write me if there is something else that I could or can't do to get to know her better. Hmmm, that does pose a problem for sure. The only idea I can think of is try to apologize for being forward and that you hope you didn't come on too strongly or make a bad impression. Over time you could possibly give her a small gift. It'd be hard to find out what she likes, but you said she's a reader, so maybe a popular book?
Find out something about her.
It's a bit of a shot in the dark for either of them, but if you're serious about it, give it time. Good things could come from it. Yeah I had considered that but unfortunately they don't speak anymore. I think they were only really work colleagues and he's not even friends with her on FB anymore so I don't really have a way of striking up a conversation with her outside of her job. That in itself wouldn't be a big problem if it was somewhere I was likely to see her regularly but that isn't the case.
She's rarely working when I go in and even when she is it's not really the type of environment where you can have a long conversation with someone, unlike say in a coffee shop. At the moment I'm consigned to occasional 60 second exchanges roughly once a month, hardly an ideal framework on which to build any kind of comfortable precursor to asking her out.
Then again I'm aware that simply asking her out again will probably just scare her away. I need to find some sort of middle ground but I'm not really sure what that is. It's definitely possible she just panicked. Of all the places that I would find an awkward place to get asked out on a date is the place where I work. Not only are there other people around, like co-workers, but there's also other customers around.
Many shy girls lament their lack of dating success due to their personality and its perceived shortcomings.
In defense of shy girls everywhere, this article is dedicated to them and to the men who wish to date them. As a very dominant and outgoing man, I've dated several girls who were more introverted. Combined with the experiences I've had with more introverted female friends, my findings are below. First off, it is important to define what the term "shy" actually means in the dating world. They still would like to date men, but have strong apprehensions about the whole experience.
That is they don't have excessively paralyzing fears of men, but do have high levels of an anxiety either approaching men, or having men approach them.
Like girls from group number one, they wish to enter relationships with guys, but often feel overwhelmed by the task, as they feel talking to boys they do not know on a personal level quite challenging, just plain downright scary. Not all shy girls fit neatly into one group or the other.
Some girls will be strongly in one category or the other, while others may have overlap. There are many reasons as to why a girl may be shy and hence, fit into the descriptions above. It isn't a mental illness. It isn't something that is "wrong" with the person. The person, or for the purposes of this article, the girl, is just not naturally extroverted. Let's explore some of the reasons in detail below.
Physical self-doubt related to body image also factors in as to why a girl may be more reluctant to be social with others. It could be that the shy girl has a physical characteristic birth marks, scars, bruises, uneven breasts, etc. A girl with smaller breasts may feel she is unattractive to men, and withdraws for that reason. A girl with larger breasts may feel that if she is too outgoing, she will be perceived as "slutty". While both girls are attractive to many men most men are far less harsh on judging a girl's body than the girl herselfthe girl herself is often convinced that she is ugly, unattractive or otherwise undesirable to look at.
Solved. dating a shy quiet girl shall
When you add all of the potential reasons as to why a girl may be shy, it becomes most helpful in understanding in the shy girl becoming more self-aware of her personality, as well any man considering approaching or dating a shy girl in the dynamic of a relationship. Shy girls have their reasons for being who they are. Instead of judging their condition, it is far more important to understand the components as to why they are the way they are.
For men wishing to approach a girl who is more introverted by nature, it presents a unique challenge. Most shy girls will almost never, under the most excruciating pain, feel the desire to approach a man first.
Even girls that are more extroverted in nature, as a rule, tend to prefer men who approach them first. Once again, there are strong biological motivators that drive these forces. For the shy girls themselves, they need to set themselves up to become more approachable.
For the men desiring to pursue a shy girl, they must take a different method to achieve success in flirting. Ladies, if you consistently come to this article and practice the advice above, I guarantee your dating success will be drastically increased. By minimizing your flaws and maximizing your strengths which are inherent in a shy girl's personality, you will see results.
Now, it is time to talk to the men about these shy girls. Why would like you like to date a shy girl? There are some pros and cons to dating women who are more reclusive in their worldview. Dating into the shy girl marketplace means doing so with your eyes wide open and accepting the task fully. It isn't for the fainthearted. To the man who wishes to date a shy woman, it is most important that you employ the three master "P's". The first "P" is persistence. You must pursue the shy girl and do not take initial reluctance of her to contribute in conversation as an absolute sign of rejection.
Just keep talking! She wants you to believe in her, badly. External signs may not always be there, but if she hasn't run away screaming, just keep the peddle on the gas. The second "P" is patience. Because of their unique challenges to you as a man, the shy girl can sometimes test a man's willingness to invest in her, as more outgoing girls can open up more easily.
Hang in there and give it time. At the point of which trust is established, your rewards will be many. The third and final "P" is power. As a man, do not afraid to bring a dominant personality to the table, or at least slightly more so than the shy girl, if you are a shy guy. Most girls wish men to take the lead, but the introverted girl much more so. You have to be that magnet that pulls her out of her shell, attracts her to you and ultimately keeps her attracted to you.
Be that man in her life, a powerful man. In closing, shy girls are often misunderstood. The most outgoing girls tend to make it on to television and other popular media. While the world zips by, the quiet girls are often overlooked. If you wish to discover a gem, sometimes it is necessary to dig. For those girls that are shy, work on stepping outside of your comfort zone.
For those men who are attracted to shy types, master the three "P's" and your success with this group of women will be astounding. Few men have the insight of what you now have as to the inner lives of the shy girl.
May your search for fortune find you your own personal gem, that is, the girl with the slight smile who would like nothing better than for you to come over and say "hi". Claim that gem as your own. I truly agree.
How to talk to shy girls
I'm introvert myself but it doesn't scared the shit out of me if a guy approaches me or I don't sweat head to toes before approaching one I never talked to before. Cheers to u som! Exactly, been introvert doesn't equal been shy. Shyness comes from insecurities, introversion is a personality trait. The amount of effort should seem equal. The way I see things is that if you want someone, you have to put in the effort into getting regardless of if your shy or not.
Girl's Behavior. TheDigitalSaint Guru. For some girls, it means they strongly fear social interaction with men as a whole, but wish that fear wasn't there.
Reasons for shyness in girls: The girl is born more introverted by nature. There is scientific evidence to suggest that when babies are born, they already show from an early age either extroverted or introverted personalities. Genetics play a huge role in who we are, including our mental outlook on the world from an early age. The family environment the girl grows up in. Girls are socialized largely by their parents and extended family. If the family as a whole has more introverts than extroverts, they can often mimic the behavior of those they live with.
If their parents or siblings aren't extroverted, they will come to view such behavior as "the way to be".
Jun 04, Dating a shy girl is not much different than dating any other girl, except for that fact that you'll have to spend a lot more time making sure she is comfortable and that you're not moving too fast. The first few months or weeks (depending on the girl) will be slow until the girl starts opening up to you.
The girl's friends play into her world view. If a girl has more introverted friends, the collective group may not feel the need to speak with strangers or place themselves in social situations such as parties. Shy people in general, including shy girls, tend to prefer smaller groups of close friends compared to larger events with lots of strangers. Furthermore, a shy girl may have outgoing friends, which can sometimes unwittingly drown out the shy girl's attempts to "put herself out there".
That is, when around a very extroverted friend, the shy girl may feel the need to withdraw and let the more aggressive friend take the spotlight. Abusive environments may also cause shy girls to withdraw from the larger world. Girls, like guys, who are abused often find it much harder to interact with other human beings, and especially to trust them.
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More introverted girls may have been or currently are, subjected to abuse. Such abuse can come in verbal, sexual, emotional or physical varieties, or a combination of all forms. A previously relationship s which ended poorly may affect a girls ability to interact with future men who come into her life.
There are also cultural impacts on a girl's level of social comfort in interacting with others. For instance, Latin cultures place a much higher emphasis on being outgoing than most Asian ones.
Anyone who has visited an outgoing culture such as Brazil versus say an introverted country like Japan will note stark differences. For shy girls, you must do the following: Stand in front of a full-length mirror. You must practice proper body language to signal to men that you wish to be approached. A poor stance looks defensive, pouty or worse yet, even "bitchy"!
Most introverted girls unwittingly practice poor body language which keeps men away. The first step you must take is to throw your shoulders back. On a girl, this emphasizes her bust, which is far more attractive when your shoulders are not hunched over.
Likewise, your head should be towards the back of your shoulders, not slouched forward. At all times, your hands should be at your sides, but not in your pockets.
It is a natural instinct for people to protect their vital organs when feeling threatened. Shy girls may feel threatened by social situations and cross their arms over their breasts without even thinking about it. Unlock those arms ladies! There are only two acceptable places for your arms.
Dating a shy quiet girl
One is by your sides and the other is gesturing with your hands or touching the person you are flirting with. As for your face, do not hesitate to smile. Smile at everyone you come in contact with, even if it doesn't come naturally to you.
If you practice getting out of your comfort zone, you'll be better prepared to smile at the boys you wish to attract. Wearing proper clothing and makeup that makes you feel most confident is very important to overcoming your fears. Whatever outfits you wear which make you look and feel your best, wear them the most often.
Keep in mind that form fitting dresses doesn't have to be low-cut and long hair are near-universally considered attractive to most men. Use makeup sparingly to cover your blemishes, but don't overdo it. When in doubt, consult with the ladies at your local department store, your female friends or fashion advice online. You must avoid getting into routines that prevent you from interacting with others. If you are shy, you may often tend towards activities which are solitary such as reading, spending excessive amounts of time on the computer or writing poetry.
There are many other activities, but if you wish to meet more boys, you must be where the boys are at. Malls, volunteering, extra school activities, church groups, civic events, fairs, sports games, bars, dance clubs, libraries, and so many more places have boys in them. Your home does not have boys in it, last we checked. Stay away from home as much as possible to increase your odds. If meeting men in public at first seems very scary, then you may try online dating first.
Keep in mind that most sites require a minimum age of 18 to join.
There are many pros and cons for online dating, of which I do not plan to discuss in detail. Please read up on them, as Google is a wonderful tool. For the purposes of this article, online dating does share one very valuable tool for the shy girl, especially if she has a very strong fear or apprehension of meeting new men. The ability to practice flirting and pre-screen men from the various profiles available can help you be more discerning as to what kind of men you are attracted to, and their interests as well.
Starting off with a few emails, you can try your hand at starting small talk and progress from there. If you should feel comfortable enough, move on to using a web cam to see the man face-to-face.
While certainly more personal than just an email, the webcam environment allows you to gauge a man's facial expressions and body language for when you flirt with men in real life, a very important tool. Although you may be shy, you could have a crush on a guy who is likewise less social by nature. If this is the case, you may be at a "standoff" where neither party approaches the other.
If you have mutual friends, it never hurts to have them spread the word that you like the boy in question. When the word finally reaches him, he might just gather up the courage to come speak with you. If there are no mutual friends in the picture, approaching the boy may be your only option.
For approaching, the idea is often frightening to many girls, even more so for those who are shy. There are many indirect ways to send interest to a guy. If you know how to find him on Facebook, you can always add him and try chatting first through that method. If the guy is truly a stranger to you, or with any man you see on the street or in a public place, flirting will have to be done via face-to-face. As before, make sure your body language is in top shape!
The most common bad habit that shy girls need to break is to over think a first conversation with a guy. The more the shy girl thinks, the more she will talk herself out of not interacting with her crush. Inaction leads to more inaction. To break the behavior, try to stand nearby the boy as soon as you spot him. Just move, don't think!
I saw you standing over here and thought you were handsome. What's your name and what brings you to this place? The shorter you can keep the initial phrases, the better. It gives the boy enough to work with, but then lets him take over the conversation for a while. Once the conversation is opened, if the guy is interested, he'll engage back.
Many, many guys dislike approaching as much as girls do. While there is the chance that may get rejected, the numbers and odds are on your side if you approach enough guys. If the first guy does not say "yes", you must keep trying with more guys. Stick to the script above! Understand that guys are often insecure or shy too, meaning that they may reject you out of their own perceived weaknesses, not necessarily because of something you did or said. If the guy does like you and continues the conversation, keep smiling.
Try to work up the courage to touch him on the arm, shoulder or back. Men like physical affection from girls they are attracted to. It gives them the confidence to continue talking to you. Also, looking down occasionally to the side while smiling, blushing or biting your lip is all shy behavior that works in your favor!
Article Summary. Method 1 of Embrace her quiet. Shy people are often quiet people, especially in the beginning of a new relationship. They simply like being with you! See her shyness as a compliment.
Being in a relationship can be a big, hard step for a shy or introverted person who usually prefers to be alone, so take the quiet and her company as huge compliments!
Take your time building the relationship. Shyness goes away once the shy or introverted person feels more comfortable and open around you. Depending on how much time you spend together, this can take a few weeks or a few months, so just be patient. The more time you spend together, the faster her shyness will go away and she will have an easier time talking to you. People who are shy, quiet, or introverted also need alone time and tend to be independent, so be sure to give her space if and when she needs it.
Plan dates that involve quieter settings.
Speaking, opinion, dating a shy quiet girl apologise
Even after she gets to know you and feel more open with you, your shy girl will probably still feel shy in new, busy environments. Slowly introduce her to your friends and family.
However, for a shy person, meeting family and friends can be scary. When the time is right, introduce her to your family and friends in small doses. Begin with a quiet dinner with your parents.
Then maybe a beach day with one or two of your closest friends. Expand from there. Shy people struggle less in social environments when there are less people to focus on at any given time.
If you feel unsure about timing, just ask her directly if she feels ready to start meeting your loved ones. Expect the shyness to reappear periodically. As your relationship progresses and you reach big milestones, like moving in together, getting engaged, or even getting married, she may get shy all over again because the situation will feel new to her.
This shyness will only last while she adjusts to the new situation. Method 2 of Encourage her to be herself around you. Shy people can be hard to get to know, especially in the beginning.
Assure her that you admire who she is and want to get to know her at her own pace. Stating this out loud will make her directly aware of your desire to get to know her, which will give her the assurance and encouragement she needs to open up to you.
Explore her interests with her. One of the best ways to get to know a shy or introverted person is spending time with them in their own environment because they feel most at ease there. If she rides horses, ask if you join her at the barn one day. If she loves books, take her to a bookstore and go browsing together. If she enjoys hiking, ask her to take you on her favorite trail. Being in a familiar environment with someone new helps shy people feel more comfortable socializing, opening up, and showing off their private side.
Experiencing her interests and hobbies with her also helps you get to know more about her and her life better without her having to try to talk or explain it, which can be hard for a shy or introverted person to do.
Sometimes shy or introverted people need time to process thoughts, feelings, and events.