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How do you think that changes the dynamic?
I've done the marketing about her to him and vice versa. So, now that they have a sense of who that person is with respect to career and hobbies and background and where they grew up. They can just be and they can be present on the date and really genuinely focused on that person versus having to kind of worry about selling themselves where that anxiety is kind of fueling them.
Like, "This is what I was doing before my current job," and kind of spewing out that resume which is just such a turn off because, I've already done that. I've done the dirty work for them. They don't have to worry about that. So, with this notion in mind, I tell people to just be really present. Like, "I've done the work. You don't have to sell yourself. You can just be really focused on each other, get to know each other.
Again, going back to those preparation tips and ideas on be prepared with some areas to talk about that you are wildly passionate about outside of the scope of career because, I definitely don't want you talking about work. We do that all day long. Nobody wants to go on a date and just talk about work, work, work.
To kind of prepare yourself with these different topics, what I call "expert topics" so, you can be an expert in a particular field that she's going to find really intriguing and be like, "Wow he's so knowledgeable about," whatever it is.
What would be an expert?
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If he plays Frisbee on the weekend, great. Well, tell her about it and maybe a history of like where the Frisbee was invented. Women will find this intriguing and it's showing that he has hobbies and he's well-rounded and he's exciting and he does a lot of different things and maybe he's a little quirky and maybe she's going to find that sexy about him.
Or it could be wine appreciation. It could be animals, travels a big thing, a huge thing to talk about where maybe he's an expert about a particular country because, he's been to maybe whatever country X number of times and he's done some volunteer work there.
Well, talk to her about it. I mean, that's fascinating. Sometimes people think that whoever they're out with is not going to be interested in them for these different interests that they have because, they believe that maybe they're the only ones that find that fascinating and nobody else will. That's totally untrue.
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So, to be confident in yourself and just rock. It could literally be the most esoteric random expert topic ever, woodworking, making boat, bottling water, making beer.
Whatever it is literally just to come up with something, a few things you like to do. If you don't like to do something then, find a hobby. I want to talk a bit like the more challenging cases you've come across and why they struggle because, this is show like trying to help men overcome the biggest challenges.
I guess, you've seen some of the biggest challenges that guys have struggled, even in your structure to make it work for them.
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First of all, I want to make clear, the photos, they're given before the date right? It's not part of the bio so, they're meeting for the first time visually. So, a VIP client is kind of the top dog in Linx. He's the alpha-client and that type of guy, Linx has the option of getting photos.
So, with her permission, I would show photos just for his viewing to see if she's somebody that he'd be interested in potentially meeting. So, that's the fun thing, kind of the icing on the cake for being a VIP client is you do get photos.
If you are dating a person who has a high net worth, whether you found them in person or from a specialty site like Kisstle, your dating dance may be a little bit different than others. If you come from humble beginnings compared to your paramour, understanding the dating game may be a little different.
So, whether I'm in line at a coffee shop, if I'm at a networking event, if I'm at a dinner party, if I'm having a conversation over a casual lunch with a friend, I'm constantly thinking about that guy and putting it out there in the ether that I'm representing this type. If anybody that I know or that I encounter could be that perfect match. It's really about exercising a lot of options and casting a super wide net and in some cases, an international net.
I have international VIP clients who live in multiple cities and don't want to just limit their search to women in the Bay Area. So, it's being really strategic and smart about things. So, it's like a high price point?
They're also getting prep techniques. We're doing sometimes the date coaching that can be a really big one to prepare them for their different dateswardrobe consultation, I serve as their romantic concierge, I'm doing all their reservations, bookings, sometimes travel accommodations, making their experience completely effortless so, they don't have to think about anything.
They literally show up to the date and hopefully, have a fantastic time and I've done all the logistics in between for them. What kind of price-points are we talking about here for the normal service versus the VIP?
For the VIP type of membership again, completely customized, we might narrow down the number of matches but, usually, we'd be doing about ten introductions over the two years, prep techniques, I'm their romance concierge often. I'm orchestrating a cocktail party on their behalf and bringing in a room of beautiful women for them to meet and mingle with.
Do you do a lot of those cocktail parties or is that kind of like once three times a year? Usually, I would do that one time for the client as a way for him to just meet and mingle with people. I work with a lot of people who are new to the Bay Area. Let's say, for somebody who's relocated and knows nobody. This can be all of a sudden your ticket to meeting people and filling up your social calendar, romantically but, also meeting some people professionally too through my larger events that I do that are called "Linx and Drinks" and these are great networking events.
So, a lot of deal flow happens professionally from these events. It can be very good for people too who have relocated here just to meet people. Could you give us any ideas of what kind of stick rates I don't know what you call it but, the people who have been set up together, how often is it that they have to go to eight dates because, I can image that They don't want to waste time.
It's like super, super results-orientated. Usually, on the very first or second, maybe the third introduction, then they're finding those results and they end up in a mini or more significant relationship. I think timing is everything. That's another big thing in the prospect stage as I'm doing the meet-and-greet, if I sense that somebody's one foot into the process, one foot out because, it's just not the right timing then, it's just not the right timing and we're not going to work together until it is the right timing.
So yes, I do find that timing is kind of everything. So, when they come in here, they're really ready. They're just done with dating and they just want to meet somebody great. So usually, they do enter into that relationship in the earlier stages.
That being said, this can be a process for some people where they are still learning considerably about themselves. Learning what works. How do I feel chemistry?
Am I feeling chemistry right now with her? I don't really know. They get frustrated and I get frustrated for them because, I want them to find that lasting connection but, it can take time. Sometimes, they're not necessarily in the right frame of mind or just maybe they're distracted or they're wanting it sometimes, many years in like that so bad that it becomes a forced situation and when a woman senses that it's kind of forced You can't force romance.
I'm guessing for guys Do you find that men have something similar in terms of a time window? Some of the guys I'm working with who are in their 50s, they really get frustrated. I have one client who emailed me this morning and he gave his feedback and he had a lovely first date but, not a romantic spark there.
I've probably set him up 40 times, It's really hard for him to get to date two but, I also think it can be a lot of his behavior on the date where he acts like this old fogies. These women are like, "What the heck?
This guy is my grandpa.
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Seriously Amy, nice guy and everything but, he's just acting kind of old. He has an older energy about him. So, I guess sometimes the 50s where somebody who has come out of a divorce and they are the type who wants to be back in a relationship, the dating world can be incredibly overwhelming and daunting especially, if they had a long marriage. Maybe they've come out of a 15, 20, 30 year marriage, it's a different game.
So, that type of person definitely can really just have that kind of anxiety fueling them.
Like, "Let's make this happen already," and that just doesn't necessarily work because, whoever he's out with is going to be able to pick up on that anxiety driving and just sense that it's not happening as it should be naturally. He's trying to force romance in that relationship. Okay so, have we've covered all of the biggest challenges you come across with men or are there some kind of others that stand out as well that come up, these kind of the patterns, the commonalities where some men are struggling more than other and going on more of these dates versus, one, two or three?
They end up marrying her. I'm going to a wedding in October where, it's his very first and her first introduction. So, that worked great and others are definitely a process.
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It's a process where then, they're coming into my office and we're chatting and I'm trying to get calibrated and really understand and get into their head and just figure out what is going on and maybe taking a pause. Sometimes, this can be really overwhelming especially, if he was in a relationship through my introduction and it did not end up netting in anything long term.
Maybe, she was the one who wanted to break up. Let's take a pause on this. Let's freeze your membership. Take a step back and then get back into the game when he feels reenergized and vibrant again, ready to meet somebody new.
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What is that? The grass is always greener and I had no idea what the BBD until I was on a date with a guy that I really had a huge crush on and I was totally smitten and staring at him. Like, "Oh my gosh, could he be the one, hopefully amongst all these guys I've had first dates with? I think it was maybe our sixth date or something.
So, it was going pretty well and all of a sudden, he was looking over my shoulder and not even looking at me. I said, "Do you see somebody here?
He said, "No, just the BBD. What are you talking about the BBD? I just couldn't believe it. So, I am anti-bigger-better-deal but, the thing is, it happens all the time especially in the Bay Area where there's just so many choices.
Then, they want Tootsie Rolls. Then, they want a Milky Way bar and just want more, more, more because, they just can't make up their mind and there's just so much of a variety and sometimes, too much variety which confuses people.
Many people, a lot of my clients tell me just this terrible date stories that they go on and usually they will have experienced a lot of that visa vi online dating or just meeting people at parties or bars or what not and have that same experience that just really bums them out.
Changes that have taken place in the dating environment over time How matchmaking works and the difference between matchmaking and using online dating apps The demographics of Amy's matchmaking clients The social resource challenges of high net-worth men in dating Preliminary stages of the matchmaking process . "We tend not to focus on individual net worth," he says. "It is definitely not a criterion to become a client but, due to the investment a client makes in the services, our clients tend. 7 Best High Income Dating Sites on the Web #1: mcauctionservicellc.com is one of the leading high income dating sites available. It has more #2: mcauctionservicellc.com is another high income dating site that may appeal to you because of its great #3.
Then, they're like, "I need a change in my life, Amy. Maybe it fits with something that I've seen over time is that, the more experience that men have, the higher quantity and the variety of partners they've had in the past, I find that they want to settle down less over time. I don't know if that's something that you've seen also?
I think that sometimes the guy who's dated a lot and had a lot of partners, at some point, he gets burned out at the game. He's just kind of ready.
He's like, "Okay, I've had X number of partners and I've dated a ton. I've been kind of the playboy. Nobody can predict when this happens because, he has to be ready but, it does happen.
There's some girl that just completely captures his attention and he's smitten and he's over the mood and he's done. He's just like, "Okay" he's off the market but, there's that very uncertain opening in his life that window is open and whoever is in front of him who's captured his attention then, that window closes very quickly.
I find that because, I have a lot of these great clients of mine. I mean, major catches who were dating a bunch, and a lot of people questioned, "Is he ever going to settle down?
They're like, "Okay, now I'm in my mids, lates. I'm high-net-worth. I have basically everything I want in my life. I have the job. I have the cars. I have the vacation house. I've shagged every hot girl there is but, I want something more. They're looking for some more substance. Maybe he wants to be a dad and he's like, "Okay, a lot of my buddies are settling down" and all of a sudden the light goes off in his head and these things become really attractive.
He's like, "Hmm, I kind of want this for this phase, this new chapter in my life, the sequel to my previous party days. He doesn't want to be alone when he's in his 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, however long he's going to live for. It's good to hear a counter-point. I'm glad to see some guys settling down. It's one of the things I've seen also, even if they settle down, I think sometimes the marriage doesn't work out.
He has difficulties with being faithful. Those kinds of situations even when he's decided that he's decided that it's time for the marriage. Just something I've kind of noticed over time.
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Have you come across any downsides to matchmaking versus other approaches or potentially situations, people it's not right for? Of course, you've already talked about the specific people you try to screen out but, are there any other downsides that people should be aware of? They're like, "Oh, this might be interesting for me. It might be a good fight for me.
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I think, I would probably screen somebody out to not work with somebody if that person's a complete workaholic and has no balance in their life because, I think they get very frustrated and working with Linx because, this certainly is a service for people that are looking for that marriage and that next major life step, being a relationship.
Somebody might not want to work with Linx if maybe they don't like working with people. I don't know. The fact that you work with a team of people and it's a very humanistic approach. You're dealing with people on the backend versus a computer.
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