When the obstetrician smacked my newborn baby butt, I probably told him, "Hey! At least buy me dinner first! Through years of dating and finally marrying someone who could put up with my wit and wisecracks, I learned that there are some rules sarcastic women must follow if they want to have a successful relationship that lasts more than five minutes and doesn't result in their date sobbing in a bathroom. After all, it's not about changing who you are, as old relationship advice might suggest. It's about being who you are while making room for someone new to get to know you. Oh, there's a fine line, and it's so easy for the sarcastic lady to cross it.
Phil's email address.
If your new beau brings home chunky peanut butter instead of your preferred creamy Jif, gently correct him. Dramatically pretending to crack your tooth on a nut and threatening him with your dental bills is just rude. And traumatizing.
It won't kill you to be enthusiastic once in a while. Things are progressing nicely in your relationship and you just met his mother.
She laughs like a hyena and made it clearly known that you aren't good enough to scoop up her Jack Russell's feces. Smile and politely nod instead of calling her Mommy Dearest and jamming a steak knife into her eye.
Emotional scenes tend to make the sardonic uncomfortable. Telling him how well you can see his receding hair line while he's down on one knee with a little black box isn't cool.
The only good thing (I think) about dating a sarcastic person is the fact that your arguments never really last long. They are always good at lightening the mood and making jokes. Even if it isn't at the best time, they still know how to make you laugh.
You crack so many jokes that it's hard for your significant other to know when you aren't trying to be funny. Learn to confidently say, "I'm being serious right now" when you're discussing fidelity or other major issues.
You never want him to think he has your blessing to do body shots off some chick in a leather corset. That's OK.
Don't change who you are or ever be ashamed of your gift of dry wit. Sarcasm can get to be a bit much after a while, and we understand that.
There is nothing wrong with being kept in check. It might catch us off guard at times, but that shock will quickly turn into an insane level of attraction. Everyone has those rough days where nothing seems to be going right.
When those days come up, who better to have around than a boyfriend who can throw some much-needed humor your way? We can always tell when something is wrong because we realize we are the source of that anger at times.
Okay, maybe a good amount of the time. It might be that time when you decide to do something crazy and acrobatic in bed, but instead, you just wind up falling off the side and spraining your wrist. A different kind of boyfriend might be shocked, shooting wide-eyed looks of panic around the table as if your family just sacrificed a virgin.
Because of this, we often go out of our way to show you exactly how much you mean to us. Just because you can't bring us out in public without the likelihood of us throwing dry remarks at the kind of people who like to vape and listen to dubstep, doesn't mean we don't have a genuinely nice side.
Everyone else sees us as the guy who always has some smartass remark about everything, but you get more than that.
You get the side of us that loves spending time with family, the side that is more than willing to whip up an incredibly delicious breakfast for you and the side up for a random road trip any day of the week.
He really wants to get his follower count up to 3, thanks, lady! So did a million other guys on Bumble.
Underneath his many baseball caps, the hatfish is bald. Sadly, he did not get the memo that bald guys like Jason Statham patron saint of bald men at this point, no?
Another play on catfishing, the kittenfish is much more sly in their con.
How to be Funny in Any Conversation
Their photos are their own The actual person is unrecognizable when you meet. Or cousin. Or distant relative.
Or best guy friend.