If you are new to the world of wheelchairs your life has probably been filled with new experiences and new information. Over the years we have learned many things about being in a relationship with someone in a wheelchair. Some lessons have been life altering, some lessons have hurt physically and some lessons leave us in a fit of laughter. Despite our list there are endless things we have learned and continue learning. One thing we can agree on and has been a major life lesson is that dating or marrying someone in a wheelchair is the same as having a relationship with an able bodied person. What have you learned from your loved one in a wheelchair?
I sustained my injury 18 years ago. Due to a motorcycle accident. I have no sensation below my rib cage. In regards to having sex and pleasing your lady. My pleasure now is making sure my partner is totally pleased.
Which can be done with some intimate kissing, touching and toys if needed. I have much more to share. That it was a amazing experience. It takes awhile to figure things out. For the first 3 years after my injury. My penis would get a full erection after some stimulation. By my partner. I got the enjoyment of the visual.
With her on top obviously because of my paralysis. We would use my wheelchair as well. For her to sit on my lap.
Ok, I think I jabbered enough. Good luck and God Bless you both. Hey Mike, so sorry to hear about your negative experiences! Meet a mature person who will love you just the way you are. Thanks for the grins. Still have lots of questions, but time will provide the answers.
Sheesh, they become weapons! The next issue the one that goes along with the size 16 feet. Every day is a new adventure and a new learning experience, just as it should be with any new relationship. They have no clue because she has not told them she wears a depends and has bathroom issues. In the beginning she was fearful after the first few bathroom accidents in the bedroom that I would break it off with her. I told her I will never leave her for the things she can not control.
Still took her time to trust and believe it because others had been down right verbally abusive about it. Everytime I help him in and out of bed, or in and out of his car, he always gets surprised by how easily I lift him out of his car usually both his mom and sister have to help him. My boyfriend always likes to make himself look like the handicapped sign in parking spaces, and he always tricks the kids he talks to at our local driving school that he uses sticks and duck tape to drive his car!
M also the patient of c5c6 but everyone is not like u dear u care too much of ur dear one. Megan, your comment about the impersonating a handicap sign definitely made me laugh.
I just started dating a paraplegic about 2 months ago. You have made me laugh today which is great cos was having a bad day previously. My marriage fell apart just after 25 yrs cos my husband was an alcoholic which I always thought was my fault.
I really saw myself in most of the points. My boyfriend 29 years old, in wheelchair for 18 ys and I are now for over 2 years a couple. And that people truely are willing to help when there are to many stairs to handle alone or swapping places in restaurants ok, sometimes it can be really annoying when people are TOO helpful sometimes.
And yes, the stares. Wash day can be every day! Even at in the morning. Backpacks become so much better than purses too!! But that means more time with your partner!! My BF is queer with MD, so he can do virtually no chores anyway. Ladies thank you so much for that article. It had my wife years and I in stitches.
After almost 9 years of marriage and 5 years of me in my chair every point made us laugh and shout YES!! From the stares to the castors to theof all thingsurine! Thank you for your kind words, Jason! Glad we could make you laugh!
Why Are My Legs Thick After 9 Years Paralyzed?!
Thanks for joining us! Much love! Love this! My hubby was paralysed t4 in sept and I had our twins the month after! Works hard, inspires everyone he meets, and never lets his disability paraplegic stop him. I am in a wheelchair a yr n 3 months ago.
Its been an experience. Its scarey at times trying to relearn things again or new things. I had melt down after melt down. Its ok just have it start over. My husband has been a trooper the past year.
He learned all he needed to care for me. He still gets a little impatient at times. My biggest one is the hospitals how really equipped they are a lot of drs offices are too. So you end up sitting in your chair to get examed. And lastly airplanes in case of an emergency really how does a paraplegic get to an exit without being trampled. Scarey thought there.
But it is what you make of it. You can be sad n pity for me or you can cut up and make the worst to a joke.
I told him he better go back to his books cuz I would have grand babies to chase one day Not wheel them around. Therapy since Oct my wreck was May 5 I was also told immediately by Dr that my son will never walk again. He announced this in the waiting room while my son had just been airlifted to ICU. Docs should have classes in etiquette! The first couple years after injury are the hardest! You can do it! Best of luck to you in your rehab! Hi you should consider drive in cinemas if you have any in your area!
If you are comfortable in a car seat, which my husband finds really comfortable and better than vein his wheelchair. Of course he still dreams of one day getting rid of his power chair but for me, if that never happens, I will be there for him forever and always.
In the end it will be the two of you, and you as a couple alone. It takes a looooong of patience and team work. Yes, it does sound as any other married couple BUT with extra work. I am talking about my own experience. And of course there is the intimacy. Analyze every little ct of how life is going to be. You MUST truly and madly be in real love with this person if you want to have a long-term relationship. Who cares?
The dating while paralyzed essence
All that matters to me is what God has to say. But his gait is very noticeable and the stares make me so mad. I have a hard time being calm and kind when people are being so awfully rude. It can definitely be hard sometimes, Erin! T12 incomplete. I walk very akward but am very thankful to be walking! I have learned patience. She can do most things just fine without my help.
It just takes a little longer.
Dating while paralyzed
She is the love of my life and has opened my eyes and educated me on the rudeness of people who do NOT consider the life of those in a chair. I just tell my wife that I love her when things go wrong. Purple is our favorite color,but right now everything is blue for now. And please please continue to drink water!!! Your way dark!!! I am in a wheelchair for over 38 years. Beiing married for 45 years. Its NOT a pleasant jerrney, but your head must be on the right place.
U learn each other and learn to do things the best way that suits you both.
HARD work and many tears over the years. U learn to stand back, or to look to the other side. Always play things by looking and hearing, at a problem. And there are so many problems come your way, u dont ask for!!!
And people dont understand, they acting if u are paralizes from your neck upwords instead of beiing paralized from your legs down. You do gotta keep your head in the humor side of things or it will eat you alive.
I never remember walking being that hard. It does get easier. The first two years are the hardest.
Since then i have lived my dream of being a mountain manrunning a self sufficient homestead and now a small peach farm. Our men agree, it does get easier!
Paraplegic Dating is part of the dating network, which includes many other general and wheelchair dating sites. As a member of Paraplegic Dating, your profile will automatically be shown on related wheelchair dating sites or to related users in the network at no additional charge. For more information on how this works, click here. Aug 28, Most men and women dating paraplegics do report a healthy active sex life. Those in long term relationships with paraplegics describe them as above average lovers. Some may, but don't expect all of us to talk about sex on the first date. Bad Sex: Paraplegics are bad in bed. They just lay there all paralyzed and lifeless during sex. Paraplegic Singles is part of the dating network, which includes many other general and wheelchair dating sites. As a member of Paraplegic Singles, your profile will automatically be shown on related wheelchair dating sites or to related users in the network at no additional charge.
Thank you again for sharing. You have made me understand what a normal happy life you can have. It may be a little different but it is there to be had if you want it. I really meant it when I said you all have changed my life.
Keep on wheel in. Love Teri.
Variant good dating while paralyzed your idea
Would be awesome to read something like this coming from a guy who dates a girl in wheelchair. And we are freaking adorable. Hey Meredith! It helps ease a bit of the stress and embarrassment. This one made me chuckle. But I have to disagree with the purple jobs thing. In our house there are very much still blue and pink jobs. And many of those blue jobs he protects fiercely!
And he quite happily leaves those pink jobs for me for my days off! Your email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. When we say stares we mean an array of different looks. Some are pity stares, some are curious and some are just downright rude. All spinal cord injuries and people in chairs are different. Before we knew our men on wheels we thought if you were paralyzed it meant from the waist down.
We learned very quickly that this is not the case. Each injury level or disease is as unique as each individual person and story.
The world is not wheelchair accessible. Next time you go for a walk, bike ride, or drive, take a look around you.
Here are 11 signs you've got dating paralysis. You take way too many rainchecks. You want to go on dates but then when they're finalized, you chicken out. You're the queen of the date rain-check, always promising to make things up to the guys you leave hanging. You don't mean to be horrible to them, it's just that you're so freaked. Especially, when your Fiance is a new injury, BTW I stand corrected. For the first 3 years after my injury. My penis would get a full erection after some stimulation. By my partner. However, I couldn't feel the sensation while we were having sex. I got the enjoyment of the visual. With her on top obviously because of my paralysis. Aug 03, Paralyzed and lusting heavily my lover took control. His willingness to dating paraplegic girls was about to pay off. We were ready to shift up a gear to sex with paraplegic girls. He rolled me over wrapping my legs around his waist where I would be comfortable.
Notice the stairs without ramps? Notice the curbs without openings? Notice that the bar your in only has high tables? There is still a lot of work to do to make this world more wheelchair friendly. Skin issues. Due to limited or zero sensation, being aware of cuts, bruises and sores is very important. A skin issue gone unnoticed could be critical and lead to a hospital visit.
Assume they can do anything without help unless they say otherwise. There is nothing they find more frustrating than people helping them do things that they can do themselveslike open the door, or put their chair in their vehicle. A relationship is a relationship and no one should feel pressured to continue one just because your partner is in a chair. All jobs are purple jobs.
In most relationships there is a division of labor. Guys jobs and girls jobs; blue jobs and pink jobs. Be aware of where your toes are at all times. Casters hurt a lot. Share this: Facebook Twitter Email. Hi everyone, thanks for the great article. No pictures please! Glad you can relate, Livia! Glad you can relate! Thanks for reading and commenting! Haha, thanks for commenting, Haden! Much love. All very good points! Thanks for sharing, Angela! Thanks for reading and commenting, Deb!
Haha, best thing ever! Much love, Nils! We agree, no quick stops with your casters on someones toes! That definitely hurts! Nonpedestrian At Large. That part made me LOL. A kind of Polar StarI am blessed. This morning was almost as exciting as last night. Jeff had a change of clothes in his car which he got while I was bathing. While he showered I went about getting ready as usual. I retrieved my braces and heels from the front room using my wheelchair.
As I was returning to the bedroom Jeff came in. His hair wet and oh so sexy fresh from the shower. I had to keep reminding myself Jeff was actually new to dating paraplegic girls. I had to take things slowly. I needed to get my panties and pantyhose on as I was still naked except for the towel. He picked me up from the wheelchair like the night before and laid me on the bed. He actually picked up the clothes I laid out and began dressing me!
First the panties which he slid one foot at a time through them and pulled them up my legs. I laid back, and let him lift my bottom while his free hand pulled the panties around my waist. He took the black pantyhose, and lifting one foot at a time, pulled each stocking onto my feet and legs, and up to my thighs where he had to lift my bottom again. He smoothed my legs out and picked up the brace for my left leg.
He placed my thin leg into its brace and fastened the straps in reverse order from the night before. Lifting my foot a little, he wiggled it into the high heel pump and attached it to the brace. Then he ask me if I could walk using only one leg brace. Thinking it might turn him on to see me try I wanted to see if I could. Jeff retrieved my crutches from the front room and I lowered my leg onto the floor. The knee clicked into its locked position. I balanced on the one stiff leg at first. Noticing with the three inch heel, my shorter right leg dangled about five inches above the floor.
So I extended the crutches, and pulled my body forward letting my right leg swing freely. Pulling my left behind it dragged a little more than before on the floor.
Can believe dating while paralyzed assured, that you
My firm naked breasts jiggled as I struggled around the bedroom. Dating paraplegic girls does have its perks. I could actually do this I thought. Walking on one brace only if I wanted, leaving my shorter leg hanging. I got Jeff to take another one of my high heels without the brace attachment made into it and slide it over my right foot. This almost made up the difference to the floor. Making the toe of the shoe point downward and barely touching the floor.
I crutched around for a few minutes. Leaning on my one stiff braced leg and dragging the other limp leg behind. I let the toe of the pump slide on the floor. Like the night before I could see Jeff becoming aroused at the sight of my frail paralyzed legs. I realized he was attracted not only to me but my disability as well. I became excited at the idea. I could be comfortable about my handicap knowing Jeff liked dating paraplegic girls. He was more than okay with my spinal cord injury.
After crutching around a bit I went back to the bed and pulled myself bottom first onto it. I pulled my right leg to my chest and took off the smaller pump revealing my foot in only the pantyhose.
I took the other leg brace and laid it under my leg. Jeff helped me with the straps and put my other pump on. The one with the build-up on the bottom and attached it to the brace. He also helped me on with my skirt while I put my bra and blouse on. Jeff thoroughly enjoyed his first time dating paraplegic girls. Let him see me pull my thin lifeless legs around without the braces crutches or the wheelchair.
I just got in an accident about a year ago and I gotta say dating has been so hardbut I just wanna say I absolutely adore your story - please friend me on Facebook removed - and I write as well. Anyways, have a great day :.
Hi Glen, for members and visitors security we do not allow the posting of personal contact info on publically visible areas of our website. Our forum is a safe place to ask questions and talk to people about issues.
Feel free to join, introduce yourself and ask questions there. There are plenty of men who would date a handicapped lady. Eventually she dumped me. I have regained hope after reading this that not all guys are shallow. Thanks :. I have always wondered what people went through when it came to paraplegic and wellnon lol would date.
I would like to hear accounts of male paraplegics dating abled women. My boyfriend was in an accident two months ago and is a T6 complete. This story was really amazing for me to read.
Thanks for the insperational story! Kc, could you tell me how you coped with it and by T6 complete, what do you mean? Would love to hear more about this. Aaron, from what I understand, dont trust my word for it, but by complete I have been told that his spinal cord was completley severed with no voluntry motor function past the injury site. But I am only starting to fully understand what it means. How have i coped with it? At the moment he is still going through PT in the hospital, the real challenge will be when he gets back home and into an every-day routine.
What I try and do is stay as positive and optimistic as possible. He is the most amazing man I have ever met and his accident would never change how he makes me feel.
I am able to get through day-by-day but I have to keep in mind that his struggles are going to exceed my own and I am going to stick by him. I think for my case, I was born a paraplegic. And have simply grown up doing things a different way. My challenge has now been to hopefully meet someone who will accept me for who i am as a person. And look past my physical disability. Aaron, I understand the challenge for you; but the biggest advice i could give is to be comfortable with yourself and who you are and others around you will see all the amazing qualities that you have to offer.
For me personally, my boyfriends personality and characeristics are what I love. I truly believe the chair actually helps people get noticed more. I have DMD its a common type of dystrophy males get, but I have beat the odds to become the man I am. Ive dated a woman without a disability before and had a lot of female interest and attention. Its your attitude and courage if you are shy that gets you noticed.
I am married to a wonderful lady who is a polio survivor and who wears legbraces. She is smart, highly intellectual, loving and compassionate, and to me she is the world. She has accomplished many things in her life in spite of incredible hardships, andwhen I look at all of these things and the bravery with which she goes through her life my love for her and my admiration for her goes through the roof.
Her disability is not in the least a problem as far as I am concerned, and to me she is the the most beautiful sexiest and most desirable woman in the world.
Her physical challenges are part of who she is, and she would not be the same incredible person without having had to overcome so many challenges in her life. I can only talk for myself but am sure that a physical disability is not a problem where real love is concerned.
A man is marrying the person and the intellect and nothing can overcome these things.
Thank you Kristi for that very beautiful and inspirational story. You are a perfect pair. Your adoration for your wife and her being able to overcome so many challenges, proves you are a very great guy, and an awesome husband.
Thank you Science of Mind for your very kind comments. My wife does much to lead by example in helping other disabled ladies to overcome shyness and other problems and go out and face the world with new strength. She is a psychologist by training which gives her the tools to enable her to know how to talk to people.
The fact that she wears skirts and is not shy to show her braces gives conviction to her words, and advice coming from someone who is also disabled helps others to realise that everything is possible.
My wife grew up in dire poverty and was raised by her grand parents who could not afford a wheelchair for her so she used to slide on the floor on a pillow to get about. One cannot imagine how degrading this must have been for a young girl she got polio at age 18 months She only walked for the first time when she was in her 20,s and did all of her schooling and university on scholarships. Her story is incredible and good material for a movie, I am so proud of her. I have written a book about her.
One of the things which may be of encouragement to the readers is the fact that after she graduated from university she gave a year of her life to living in a tiny villiage in the jungles of Northern Colombia, where with the help of local people she built a school, drilled and built a water well, got funding from different sources for schoool supplies and trained local people to become teachers so that when she left they would be able to keep the school going.
She used to have to catch her own fish to eat and developed her swimming skills in the process. To her nothing is impossible and the sky is the limit. Hi - my name is Pam. I walked for 9 years of my life. Ever since the hip surgery, I was not able to walk on my own. I walked with canadian crutches for many year in my parents home. When I moved out on my own, I was pretty much in the chair.
It was easier. Things were more accessible to me. Living up north in Ft, Wayne Indiana was getting to be very challenging. A friend from where I worked asked me to share expenses on a road trip to Orlando, Fl. It was at the point the LORD was letting me know to move to warmer climate. It was a big scary step leaving my family.
Life is so much easier here. Being in a wheelchair and not that mobile, I am a heavy woman. I have learned there is many ways to love and so much that I could give to love a man, if that someone could love me unconditionally. It is a lonely life that I have. I am blessed though that I have Jesus Christ and one day HE will lead me to someone that will love me.
I hope this inspired someone. Lords Blessing to anyone who reads this. Hi Pam, I read your comment with interest. I hope that you dont mind if I give you some suggestions which I have found have helped me in my life. It seems to me that all of us on this planet are given different challenges in our lives.
Some are physical, some are emotional etc but in the end these are there to test us and in overcoming them they make us stronger. I am also a firm believer that we are all guided in our lives, and things happen for a reason.
What she has done is to accept the ravages of polio as her starting point in life, and has tried to build from there. She has tried to think beyond this and by doing this she has elevated herself by study and getting very involved in helping other disabled people who are worse off than she is.
This has also given her the realisation that in comparison with others she is very lucky, and this has encouraged her very much in her life. So dont despair, go on with your life, and you will see that the right person will come along when this is meant to happen. I am a para, My wife crossed over in and she was a wonderful woman.
She stood by me when I was shot, went through PT, and never thought of me as disabled. I am very active, I love to travel, I live alone and love life. God has blessed me in so many ways I can only be happy. I would like to meet a girl para. It gets lonely living alone. I have a lot of friends but I want that someone special in my life. Everything works if you get my drift.
My legs are too weak for me to walk so I use a power chair. I have tried so many dating sites and came up empty. I did date a para once and it was so good to be with someone who got me, and I got her to.
It was great and would have grown into something more but I moved and as they say life must go on. I am a prankster and love life.
I never meet a stranger. Sorry some of you have seen or dealt with that. A complete is a full break of the spinal cord. I find the same Kat. My thin flaccid legs slight frame and splinted hands make obvious my spinal cord injury. Iam a 26 year old male. I been paralized since I have music videos my name is Filth Rich.
But I can say iam blessed and handsome. I have no issue geting woman. I pray a lot. Maybe not enough. So in our case. Convudence and being well groomed can help a lot. And persueing a lot. Come on? I love a cocky person. I take baths. Drive and live and work on mY own. I recently got engaged. And im happy my only thing is my butt be sore I have a robot. So just know! Keep positive energy around you. And stay confidence.
And do the same is a person with four legs :. I had a question that is really worrying me at the moment. Would that affect my sex life in anyway? Is there anything that i should do to gain more sensation in that area? Thanks for reading, let me know if you have an answser please. Regards, D. No, I do not feel sensation either. Im married to the same woman for 17 years now.
Go slow and use ky or other lubs. When I ejactulate orgasm you feel it in your brain and all over. I want to marry a woman who loves me for who I am not what I can give to them materially any single ladies.
I meet smart educated guys who wants a girl they can show off and of course braced girls are not included. I just want to meet a man who I can level with. Hit me up if your him. Fantastic story, I have been dating an amazing woman, she is a paraplegic. More importantly, she is a vibrant, intelligent, independent and freaking sexy woman. The only issues have been my own, having never know, let alone dated a paraplegic. I had no idea when it came to physical contact. I was completely clueless, but, between talking and testingwow!
We have been dating for a while now and things are fantastical. There is wonderful information on the Internet. Thank you to everyone for sharing stories and experiences. Hi, I had a brain tumor, but feel like I kind of fit in with this group. I am able to exercise, so I often go to the gym and ride a trike to kill time.
Before this happened I was a very sociable guy, bar tended and had tons of friends, not now, lol, my parents live in a gated community, so I rarely socialize now! I am from india, my girlfriend is physicaly chalangd but it never turnd hindres, in our love, she, s very beautiful n i love her very much. She have changed my entire life, each and every thing in my life, even i m al bcoz of her.
Read all the story and the comments. You people are incredible. I am in communication with a person whom I believe is handicapped. With your incredible stories I am sure i am now able to connect with her appropriately. She has not yet advised me of her condition which I only suspect but if I am rightyou have given me a huge step up. Thank you. Kristi Eden says in the story that her right leg is shorter, but the picture above clearly shows that the left leg is shorter.
I got polio when I was 2years old. I use brace on one leg. I sometimes use my power wheelchair if I go to the mall. I have a job, I drive nice cars.
Valuable dating while paralyzed speaking, would try
I am married with 6 beautiful kids. My wife is fabled woman, pretty. Being disabled myself I always have a rule of thumb when it comes to needing assistance with things. In example getting help putting socks on usually results in a partner teasing or tickling my feet, having a laugh together.
Bathroom related assistance is no game and thus a nurse aids there. I was however in a wheelchair at first due to mines head injury, I was in a One-Arm drive wheelchair at first then to a walker and now I use a cane only.
But having incurred a Traumatic head injury one has always treated people as one would want to be treated himself hey. Life went on, and after we both graduated it took her an extra semesterwe got married and Lived Happily Ever After. Everything else in your story is just about spot-on without going too deep into the details.
Eventaully I met the right guy, and after living together for two years, we got married. Hi, My name is Tim and I have been in a wheelchair for over 14 years due to a very rare neuromuscular disease called Polymyositis. I wish I could be as fortunate as Kristi and find a woman who can accept a disabled person like Jeff did. I do have weakness in my arms and the muscles in my torso are weak but I am doing remarkably well.
We still have the same feelings, the same needs and desires in life. I feel so alone sometimes and just want the company of a nice woman who can accept me for me.
I guess the only question is will it ever happen? If there is a way I would really like to get to meet you and at least have a friend. That was a Beautiful Story! Everyone is Beautiful. Be good to yourself and take care of yourselfNever feel down on love because All of us are Love.
When i was in my early 20s i dated a paraplegic girl for about 8 months. I felt embarrassed and wasnt sure if this was the right thing to do,even tho she asked me to change her. Has any other guys experienced this? And then there are people who ask really dumb and sometimes rude questions. Time to stand up and see what happens I was worried. To make a long story short, he asked for my number, and three years later we got married. I wonder how other women dealt with sexual relations in college and beyond.
He had no clue that I wore braces, and he just stared at my legs speechless. Our life is good, and I hope that everybody reading this can identify with my saga. Skip to content. Recent Topics. Recent Replies. Recent Comments. Dating Paraplegic Girls. Paraplegic lovers embrace When we got home, I invited him in and got out of the car where he was waiting with my crutches.
Making love to paraplegic girls He has the most beautiful smile. Dating paraplegic girls He smoothed my legs out and picked up the brace for my left leg. Prev Post. Next Post. I have to keep in mind that his struggles are going to exceed my own. Why is that?