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Funny Dating Quotes to get you in the mood for a hot dude. Or dudess. These will put you in the right frame for the night game. Laughter is the best aphrodisiac. Links to lots more dating humor at the bottom. Share your own jokes and feedback in the Comment box.

Laughter is the best aphrodisiac. Links to lots more dating humor at the bottom. Share your own jokes and feedback in the Comment box. Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? I went on a date recently and the guy took me horseback riding.

Dirty dating quotes

That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! I dated a hypnotist once. I made the mistake of telling my date a lie about myself, and she caught me.

I miss dating The excitement of meeting someone new, that feeling of butterflies when you see if you can climb out their bathroom window You can tell how single I am by the way my cat and dog wear their sombreros with quiet dignity and acceptance. The best part about speed dating is having new guys to drink with, and none of them are keeping track of how many drinks you've had. My boyfriend does this cute thing where he files for a restraining order. Date: [looking at menu] Want to share anything?

Me: Oh.

something is. Many

I made out with your brother once God that feels good to get off my chest. Girl: You just want to have sex with me.

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Exploring each other. Gotta love foreplay.

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I have seen the best of you, and the worst of you and I choose both. Do you want to send your girlfriend something naughty? Check out the following naughty quotes for her, which she will definitely like.

I think I should tell U wht people r saying behind Ur back. Nice HIPS!!! Would you like to send your boyfriend or husband something sexy in SMS? Have a look at the following naughty quotes for him.

This small SMS will guarantee you a hot night.

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Life is short. Break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile. The way you look at me melts my heart. Romantic relationships are very sweet, but sometimes we feel like playing a bit.

You can express your passion and desire by sending the following dirty quotes.

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You will make your sweetheart happy and very excited. I dream about you in my bed every night. Kiss me, sweetheart.

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I promise I am more delicious than your favorite candies. The woman already knows.

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Monica Piper. Melanie White.

Thanks for coming over!'". - Vince Vaughn. "It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.". - Joan Rivers. "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.". - Frank Zappa. "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.". Jul 22,   Dating Tips, Dating Tips for Men, Flirting, Quotes, Texting 0 0 0 0 If you need a little help to know what to text the woman in your life to make her smile or laugh out loud, you're in the right mcauctionservicellc.com: Shani Jay. These funny dating quotes are for most everyone - whether you are going to your first date or have been through several relationships. If you are into online dating or are already in a relationship, you will find some of these sayings to be inspirational quotes and others to be full of fun.

What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? Jerry Seinfeld.

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Date night is not optional for those who want to create a close and connected intimate relationship. Odds on meeting a single man: 1 in 23; a cute, single man: 1 in ; a cute, single, smart man, 1 in 3,; when you look your best, 1 in a billion.

Don't call the world dirty because you forgot to clean your glasses. Smile if you just had a naughty thought yep, you just smiled! Woman without curves is like a road without bends. Oct 31,   As promised, I've listed some specific dirty talk lines you can use to woo, taunt, tease or tantalize your sweetie without feeling embarrassed or tongue-tied. You're everything I've ever dreamed of. I can't imagine making love to anyone else. You're my dream guy. I never want any other c*ck inside of me. This year somebody told me not to. So I'm gonna do my kind of dancin' with a great partner, who's not only a terrific dancer, but somebody who's taught me that there are people willing to.

Lorna Adler. I was on a date with this really hot model.

We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed. Dave Attell. Kris McGaha. If your date likes it, do not date that person again. And if you like it, there may not be a second date. Roger Ebert. I hate first dates.

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Alex Reed. Jennifer Lopez. As for kissing on the first date, you should never date someone whom you would not wish to kiss immediately. Garrison Keillor.

Oct 04,   You can express your passion and desire by sending the following dirty quotes. You will make your sweetheart happy and very excited. I dream about you in my bed every night. I don't have a dirty mind, I just have a sexy imagination. I miss your body on top of mine. Push me up against a wall and do dirty things to me. Kiss me, sweetheart. Aug 06,   Your mirror must be very lucky, because it gets to see you every day, both day and night. I just came out of a shower, but it's a waste, knowing I'm about to get dirty again with you. My day was so perfect that the only way for it to have been better is to have had you by my side. Funny Dating Quotes Group 6. Dating is where you pretend you're someone you're not to impress someone you don't know. - Melanie White I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again. - Rodney Dangerfield Save a boyfriend for a rainy day, and another, in case it doesn't rain.

You might like Cute Terms of Endearment. Jonathan Lockwood Huie. I want a man who is kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire? Zsa Zsa Gabor. Rodney Dangerfield.

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I was dating a guy for a while because he told me he had an incurable disease. Gracie Hart. Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people. Doug Coupland.

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?

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Rita Rudner. Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.

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Scott Adams. I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again. Women marry men hoping they will change.

Top 10 Dirty Quotes you can tell him/her

Men marry women hoping they will not.



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