Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people-including himself-get seduced and hurt by love. Everyone knows by now that tobacco is bad for you. Besides that, it stinks! Most people are non-smokers, and when you don't smoke, the scent of cigarettes can be pretty nauseating. This is especially true when you're not used to it.
My hubby smoked, but quit over 40 years ago. He says it was the hardest thing he has ever done. You need to write a book. Ive never experience smoking but I cant stand it. I dont even have friends who smoke. I am a non-smoker and dated a man who smoked 2 packs a day. I stayed in it for almost 2 years. He asked me if I had started smoking.
I realized that I loved and respected myself more than compromising my health for a guy. Otherwise, much angst follows, such as in this case. Smoking was a so-called deal-breaker for me.
But I picked up on the fact that he was a smoker the first time we kissed - no amount of breath mints could hide it. He put more pressure on himself to quit than I did. If we were 2 years down the track and he was still a smoker, it would have really pissed me off. We would have had to have a discussion about it.
All not guy im dating smokes will know
If he had absolutely no intention of quitting, and was just bullsh! Someone with a deal breaker and then lied about it, yet got rewarded with getting his foot in the door.
Dating a guy who smokes occasionally I'm (25F) dating a guy (30M) whos been smoking weed for a few years now. He doesn't do it every day, maybe once or twice a week or so at most, sounds like he does it instead of drinking because his friends don't drink. Jul 02, Contrary to the popular believe, I don't think the person who smokes or drinks can be a bad partner. It is just about the compatibility. The DAILY SOAPS and MOVIES have promoted wrong message that all smokers and alcoholics are bad partners. If a guy loves you, he will love you no matter what alcohol or no alcohol. 2 days ago When I say occasionally I mean like 3/4 times/days a week. I do it usually more at evening or night, some weekend mornings. But I'm not a pothead, I am very much in function (I don't get blazed out, I like light highs). I don't plan on quitting. I've been talking to a guy for a few weeks now and he seems very into me.
I guess bad behavior does pay. And he was a great boyfriend - at the time. If you date an active smoker, there is a very good chance they will increase their smoking as they feel more comfortable in the relationship. If you date someone who gave up smoking, there is a good chance they will start smoking again, maybe once you are trapped in a serious relationship or marriage.
It best to leave smokers to date other smokers. Sara, believe what you want, but I know smokers who have quit for their partners. I wanted to give my ex that chance. Good luck to them - LOL! I could be wrong. We can all agree you had a good reason and that your friend is a twit, but why does it matter?
So, this made me think deeper for a bit - good point. I agree that, at the end of the day, we date whom we chose. I wish you had read what I wrote regarding two types of smokers and assuming she is dealing with the latter.
Also, there are much more adverse consequences than weight gain when you have unhealthy habits. Smoking is one of those unhealthy habits, but poor diet and lack of exercise are others.
Just saying there are other factors to consider as well, if that truly is the concern. Luckily, I found someone with whom I share almost identical food habits, so that makes that ct of life very easy for us.
HUGE dietary differences can hamper a relationship. How are you going to dine together at home or at a restaurant if there is a HUGE descrepancy in your diets? Heck, when I was young and single, when I was out and about with my friends, I ate what was easily available. How many people are addicted to bowling alley foo or ball park hot dogs, or food from the roach coach at an outdoor concert?
How many people are really addicted to frozen pizza at home? He probably would die an ugly death, and our lifestyles would not mesh well. A typical smoker on the hand is usually an ADDICT, and even if they are careful and considerate and smoke outside, the smell still gets on them, their clothes, their hair, their mouth.
Studies have now shown that a poor diet is the 1 cause of health issues and premature death. Not smoking. Anyone knows that.
Again, my only point is that it is not the only bad habit that causes health issues, to people who are making that claim. Young people are not the only ones with poor eating habits and there are lots of young people with good habits. I wonder how people would react if say, an alcoholic was a part of that set of comments or a drug addict or an abuser or a. So, it still comes down to whether the person is a good fit for you in a relationship. Of course, you still have the option to consider any of these things deal breakers.
Was guy im dating smokes have hit
No, sorry, that argument cannot be made, apples with apples, remember? AND whoever lives with him is also more likely to have to take care of him, as smokers have increased risks of cardiovascular diseases and stroke, etc. It makes no difference to me. She may or may not find another great boyfriend that has all of his good qualities. Smokers which are a rare breed nowadays tend to fall in to one of two groups.
Those that smoke in their house and in their cars and those that are super conscientious about it and will only smoke outside, away from non smokers. Have you ever known anyone that was a diabetic? If severe, it can lead to kidney failure.
Not fun for a caretaker. Actually not even close. No one ever had ill effects from second hand twinkies. Poor eating habits are usually a phase of bachlerhood and not really a sign of an addiciton. No nagging or arguing required. Just make him a nice home cooked meal.
A sedentary life style could also be a by-product of singleness. I had a healthy lifestyle before I met my guy, but it is even BETTER now, because I have a partner to share home cooked meals with, and someone to hike and bike with and share a jacuzzi with after my exercise classes at the gym. Once I decided to become pregnant, I went into full on health mode, and stayed the course as I wanted to raise a son with good eating habits.
Getting a man to eat better and even to be less sedentary is one of the easiest things a woman can inspire a man to do. With package foods and fast foods, you never really know what you are getting. Making meals from whole fresh ingredients not thawing out frozen pizza in the microwave give you control of the calories, carbs and sugars.
I am constantly amazed at how height is a deal breaker for women. Yet, seeing my height listed as the base height for man made me feel short.
What Evan failed to include in his statistical data is that educational attainment level reduces the size of the taller than average pools. I hold a graduate degree. We can assume that half of the men in that pool are married, reducing its size to less than 1. Now, if we factor in other intangibles like attractiveness and racial preference, the size of the pool drops to less than 0.
I love being a member of this proper subset of the male population, but the average women has a greater chance of being hit by a freight train than finding love in this pool. Women are always amazed when I show them this data. For the average women, height is the number one factor that limits the size of her date pool, which is why so many men lie about their height.
Men who are of average height and shorter have no choice other than to lie about their height if they want to be noticed. Thank you, YAG. Yes, the numbers are pretty devastating when you stop and dive into them. What is a tall woman to do, though?
Guy im dating smokes
Here is a way to look at it. While height is indeed a female primal trigger, bust size and hip-to-waist ratio are male primal triggers that most men have to overlook at some point in their lives. If you look at the women who men universally find to be attractive, they almost all meet these primal triggers. Do you know how many women over age thirty-five fail to meet these male primal triggers? I will give you a hint.
It is the number one reason why men of all ages are attracted to twenty-something women. Being a tall woman does not need to be dating death sentence. It merely requires a woman to re-frame things in order to increase the size of her dating pool.
It was not until after I been out on several dates that I became curious about male height. They are just attaching value to a number. What we are looking at is clear-cut case of one cannot fix stupid. For me he just needs to be taller. If I were five foot two, then a guy five foot five would be fine for example.
Often that x fits me.
Otherwise we can be friends, but a romantic relationship would not be fun for either of us. I would advise men to please never lie about their height though.
Some women go through a lot of trouble to free up their schedule, pay a babysitter, get excited and try to look nice Only to find the guy totally lied about his appearance and no attraction will be possible. Awkward, and not a very considerate thing to do To another person or yourself! Your height is the 65th percentile for male height in the U.
If you live in the U. What women do not realize is that when they target guys who are at least my height to the exclusion of shorter men, they give us licenses to be borderline douche bags. If a woman wants to limit her chance of falling in love to one out of five men based solely on height before any other desired attributes are added to the equation, be my guest. I routinely notice couples where the man is only an inch or two taller than the woman now that I am aware of this primal trigger.
They do not seem to be less happy as a couple. I disagree that men have to lie. So much so I was overwhelmed with dating at times. It is not that you did not get noticed for your height.
It is more like you did not get ruled out for your height. I can put my profile back online and be communicating with dozen women within a week, several of which will have reached out to me. I have a well-written profile with good photos.
Opinion you guy im dating smokes will not
I am also in great shape for my age, and have a full head of non-gray, non-colored hair which is strange for a man my age. I recently started to round up instead of truncate the fraction of an inch like I have done my entire life. That is what male height is all about with women. I agree with your assessment. They would be better off working on themselves to so that their personality and character make up for a lack of height.
Smoking is a choice. I was an alcoholic and kicked that, so I have very little compassion for smokers. Plus, you tie yourself to a smoker financially? Lol Even if I chose to stay in the relationship, the guy would more likely dump me for my boiling resentment and spite. I guess know your deal breakers before you get involved. This is tough stuff for the writer, yuck. Good luck! I also have smoking as a deal breaker for me, and it is a rule I will not break.
My father died of lung cancer at But it also allowed me to see what a horrible addiction smoking is. He tried to quit so many times, he so wanted to.
It is stronger than heroin. So for those that do not smoke, understand that if someone has smoked for a long time it highly likely that they will return to smoking at some point in your marriage or relationship. If you are getting into a relationship with them, you need to accept that. If you can accept him at his worst, then be okay with it. But accept the reality I tell you about above. Sure, he could die of a brain tumor and live the most healthy life ever.
Sure we have the few stories we hear about those that live to be but they are rare. It is a very strong addiction, he may want to quit, he may love you more than life itself, but it is a physical addiction and it is very tough to beat.
I had one friend who was in this exact situation. However, she married the man as a smoker. She told him that she wanted him to quit but that it was up to him.
She told me that as she fell in love with him as they were dating, she saw how strong the addiction was and her heart hurt for him because he was in pain. He would shake and become ill when he did not have nicotine. He tried the drugs and they made him very sick and then one day he decided to do it on his own gradually cutting down.
For years he carried around a pack of them, not smoking them but almost as a security blanket just in case. She stood back, she never commented, she never judged, she just let him do what he wanted and was there to listen. She said he told her he slipped up once or twice, but other than that he has no desire.
But HE IS honest with her when he does or if he ever thinks of slipping up and that is because she was never judging of him, and never gave him an ultimatum. She said in all honesty to her, the lying and hiding would have bothering her more than the smoking.
She made sure to let him know not to be ashamed and that she would love him no matter what. You see I could not do this. I applaud her for what she did. If you as a woman cannot do this, then do not enter into a relationship with a smoker. I think smoking is an okay deal breaker by the way. Definitely a deal-breaker. These issues should be discussed before getting serious with someone. Former smoker here. A smoker will never ever successfully quit unless they want to do it for themselves and unfortunately that decision is often made after a health scare.
So he wants to start a family with you? If so, he might as well stop now. If not, consider if you want to raise your children in a house filled with smoke. Because smoking is an unhealthy habit that not only adversely affects my partner, but affects my own well-being too. Height and a non-six-figure income are not potentially life-threatening.
Smokers always seem to minimize the amount they smoke too. The letter writer made a typical mistake, she knew that smoking was a deal-breaker but got into the relationship anyway in hopes that the guy would change.
How is this fair to the guy in question? I dated smokers in the past and lived with them. It was ruining my clothes, it was in my hair and I kept thinking about 2nd hand exposure. Not to mention financially, this habit is expensive and not only the cigarettes themselves but also additional health insurance penalty for smokers. So I would personally never date a smoker, but I would never move past the first date with them, assuming they even got the first date by lying.
The OP laid her bed and now should lay in it. The few smokers I know are wonderful people. Smoking is one of my few deal breakers. When I think about it, the smokers I know have partners who also smoke which might make more sense for a relationship. He can do what he wants. Also, why would smoking be off limits, but not drinking.
The fact that a guy wants a family is important. Some of the issues can be solved by switching to an e-cig. When I met my boyfriend, he smoked a pack a day. He usually goes for a minty variety, which is actually quite lovely!
I have no idea if it is more or less harmful than smoking cigarettes, but I can tell you that his breathing has significantly improved. He no longer needs to use a puffer and the e-juice he uses has vegetable glycerol instead of polypropylene.
She Chose Weed Over Me - Ultimatums
Just a thought! Put smoking up there, with height, age, weight and income on things that are commonly lied about in OLD. One came clean on our first meet and greet. One man admitted after we were already dating exclusively that he occasionally toked, and I asked him, why am I just now hearing about his, since I had alreday told him pot smoking was a deal breaker.
I agree that there is a difference between rejecting a man for being under 6 foot, and rejecting a woman who is morbidly obese. Smoking is an unattractive habit, both in terms of smell and how a person looks. It ages you. Even if a young smoker manages to look attractive, that habit will age their face and yellow their teeth. For me, smoking kills attraction. I do not want to kiss a mouth that tastes like cigarettes, I do not want to lie down in a bed that smell like an ashtray.
When I was of childbearing age, I did NOT want to raise my child in a smokey home, and even if someone agreed to only smoke outside, I would NOT want my children to have a smoking parent for a role model. One thing I did not know until I got pregnant, that my aversion to the smell of smoke, increased greatly.
In my non-pregnant state, it was a mildly unpleasant odor. And that hypersensitivity to smoke smell persisted for about 3 years after my son was born.
I've been talking to a guy for a few weeks now and he seems very into me. Anyways, should I tell him like asap that I do this? Is it a dealbreaker for some?
You want a guy who doesn't smoke? That's fine. Only about 20of men smoke, leaving you 80to choose from. I'm not telling you the answer; I'm outlining your two choices. And lest you think I'm being glib about it, I went through very much the same calculus in when I was debating whether to propose to my wife.
Or should I just wait until it comes up? ates: 1 d ate- I told him and I guess he occasionally smokes too! Share Facebook. I smoke weed occasionally. Add Opinion. Xper 6. I think honestly is the best policy it's obviously worrying you so in that case I would say yes tel him If he leaves you because of that then it would never work but most likely he shouldn't care He likes you so trust should be ok.
I told him and he smokes sometimes too so : it worked out, thanks! Sign Up Now! Sort Girls First Guys First. Searlas Xper 4. Being honest and vulnerable in a new relationship is tricky but it's always worth. Personally I can't date someone who do drugs and I will feel betrayed if some hid such from me.
Tell him, he might be ok with it. If you don't, would you want him to hide something from you that you consider critical?
I'd be open with him. It's the best thing for both of you. And who knows, maybe he's just not had a chance to really know someone who smokes weed. My partner was the same - he knew of weed, but he never really got exposure to it until he met me. And I managed to change his mind about it. Just be sure to be respectful and if he rejects you because of it, don't feel too hurt.
Xper 7. Yes it can be a deal breaker for some, but from my experience, it only seems to matter if the person smokes a lot -to the point where it affects their everyday life. Would not bother me but I used to smoke weed and drink when I was younger has he ever done any of them?
Have thought guy im dating smokes everything. not
I dont do either anymore and it does not bother me if my partner wanted to. Do you feel the need to hide it? Or do you see anything wrong with smoking weed?