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One of the most popular posts on The Dating Truth is about pursuing men. Should women do it, and if so how? There is one answer - yes. Just ask a fox. To pursue a man is much different.

The point is that you want to be the one being pursued and, while there are exceptions to every rule, it's smart to set the precedent from the get go. I know a lot of women who are so afraid of making a man feel like she is trying to catch him, that she never throws the poor guy a line.

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Guys needs clues. They need you to send them signals that you are interested by rewarding their introductions with a warm smile, asking questions that help keep to conversation going, making eye contact from across the room, and suggesting other days you are available when the date he proposes won't work.

That said, if you feel like you are filling in all the gaps, you may be doing more work than you have to. Things like finding him in a crowded room after he excuses himself from the conversation, reaching out to him when he fails to follow up on a date as promised, or always being the first to initiate planning the follow up date take the ball out of his court. As I have been reminded time and time again by men, if a guy is really into you and ready to make a move, he will.

Certainly there is nothing wrong with strategically running into a guy you like, when you have the easy and natural opportunities to. But there comes a time when allowing for the possibility becomes a painful, persistent pursuit.

I think with a little tough-love of self, every woman can identify where the line between helpful initiation and pursuit is. Ask yourself the following question: Have you given him ample opportunities to make a move and he just hasn't?

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If this is the case, it's time to back off and not try so hard. This doesn't mean you should avoid him, but it does mean you should reassess your reasons for attending certain social affairs and let him go.

Women who pretend to be someone they're not is one of the biggest turn-offs for men. The sad thing is, men, find it very easy to know when you're not acting yourself, no matter how hard you try to behave normally. From simple observation, men know when you're putting on a show and when you're the real version of yourself.

Aug 18,   A man has a strong desire to be the initiator in relationships. That's part of his manhood. He wants to seize the challenge. A man loves the pursuit. Trust me. When he sees what he wants, he goes after it. If a man you adore is not pursuing you, he is not interested in you. Men can make endless excuses as to why they don't go after a woman. Jun 10,   I get a lot of women ask me, "Should a woman pursue a man?" The first thing I want to do is define the word pursuing, I don't mean making your interest known; but there is a fine line between letting a guy know he has the green light to ask you out and chasing him. Men, we like to pursue. We are hunters by nature and we like a challenge. So much dating advice is about "how do I manipulate a man to pursue me," instead of "how do I find a man who actually wants a relationship with me." Instead of sharing some advice on how to get a man to pursue you by manipulating him into thinking it was his idea, we'd rather go deeper into the actual issue that will change everything.

To adequately pursue any man, do it like the woman you are, forgetting all hype that comes with behaving like someone else. That sign across your eyes and chest that says 'don't come close'?

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Lose it now. Many women think they're welcoming to men when in fact, their body language tells a different story. Drop your shoulders, stop being on the offensive, and don't look too angry or strict all the time, as though you're better off living on your own.

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This is a huge turn-off for men who wish to pursue, primarily because of their egos. They're scared to be rejected, and that's what they believe comes with your hostile body language. Be pleasant, not only on the outside but also on the inside.

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Smile a while; it doesn't hurt one bit, I assure you! It doesn't matter if you're a sweetheart on the inside; you love children, puppies, kittens, and charities.

The very first thing people appreciate about a woman is their physical appearance. When it comes to men, they're attracted to women first because of their facial expressions and smiles.

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That guy in your coffee shop you've fallen in love with might be one of such men thus, smile! Being a woman is easy, but being a lady can be very tough. Always be a lady, even when it gets tough and nearly impossible.

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Among other things, men are turned off by the use of boisterous behavior, expletives, and tacky appearances of women. They pay attention to the way you package yourself, how you talk, and address others, using these to judge you and perceive who you indeed are.

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Never forget this golden rule; always be a lady, and you will see all the dating magic it comes with. Heed this advice when searching for a dating partner.

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There's a difference between the two; dressing well and dressing up. When choosing your clothesbe sure to select those that complement your body as a woman. Also, work with accessories that aren't overly flashy or extra, as these pass off a different message to onlookers. Just because we women have a fantastic shape and beautiful complexion doesn't mean it needs to be shown down to the tiniest detail.

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Be discrete as well. Allow the guy to imagine the rest before they pursue you, after showing simple snippets of your beauty.

The mystery goes a long way in pursuit, so make use of it. You can look good as a woman, with a body and clothes to die for, but when your mouth opens, everyone wishes you'd just stayed quiet.

Pursuing anything that doesn't want to be retrieved is often a very stressful experience that, in many cases, never ends well. This is the same case for pursuing relationships and men in general. First, let me be controversial by saying, it isn't a woman's place to pursue any man, simply because any man that is chased will undoubtedly run. Jan 23,   How to Pursue the Right Man. Dating has become some kind of guessing game with single men and women afraid to get to know the person that they are dating intimately. In order to pursue the right man, you have to know him well enough to know where you have the competitive advantage over other women. The first step is to get to know him. Sep 29,   What's more, most men will only date a woman if he is a.) interested and b.) ready, regardless of who pursues who. So in the end, pursuing a guy really doesn't increase your odds of romantic success, only your chances of being met with Monica Gabriel Marshall.

Dating has become some kind of guessing game with single men and women afraid to get to know the person that they are dating intimately. In order to pursue the right man, you have to know him well enough to know where you have the competitive advantage over other women.

Pursuing a man dating

The first step is to get to know him. What is he after, and what is he after with you? The best way to get this information is to ask. You have to be a detective, and a cunning one at that. You have to know if he is the right man for you, and the more you learn about him the easier it will be to discern if he is indeed the man that you want. He will either own this label, or deny it.

Another labeling tactic is the phrase: That seems like something a cheater would do, if only jokingly.

Should you pursue a man?

Again, he will either confirm or deny, then you can follow up with - have you ever cheated? Try again with another label.

Example: That seems like something you do in a marriage - have you ever been married?

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The right way to pursue a man is to learn everything that you can about him. Listen to him, and use the information that he shares to learn more.

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When it seems like a man is pursuing you, all he is really doing is learning you, and then looking for opportunities to use what he has learned to keep you interested in him. Once you have decided that you have the man that you want to pursue prepare yourself. First, you have to address any fears, or insecurities that you have about the probability of the catch. The difference between a pursuit and a chase is that at no point into the process are the roles reversed. So ultimately, they want the same thing but the child the man thinks of the moment while the parent You thinks of the future.

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